Since She Came

Chapter 10: El Entumecimiento Esa Deja

(Y/N)'s POV
     I walk out the door and towards Hailee's car. I take a deep breath and lightly knock on the door. She jumps, turns in the direction where she first heard the knock, then faces me. She rolls down her window. "Thought you might need some company." I sheepishly say to her.

   She nods and opens the door to let me in. I sit down and the first few minutes were spent in silence. On a normal occasion, I find the silence very peaceful. But now that feelings have come in the way and my thoughts keep yelling at me, I think the silence would be the death of me.

    "You okay? I saw you pacing back and forth back there." I say to her, hoping she would want to talk about it. "Well, it's kinda... about the interview you and I did today."

    "Okay, what happened?" I ask her, letting her know that I'm here to listen and not judge. "Well, it was about the answers we gave. I said that I was in love with a person who has the purest heart but yet can't feel. You said that you love someone who you want to let in as much as you can." she said. "Uh-huh." I nod and gesture for her to go on.

    "Well, (Y/N). I don't know how else to say this but I've fallen in love with you. I always have since the day we met." she says to me. I'm taken aback as I didn't expect her to dump the whole thing on me so quickly. "Well, I appreciate the honesty." I say to her.  She smiles weakly. "Continuing, I do think you have the purest heart and I feel the safest around you. Like I could share anything with you and you wouldn't judge me." she says. I nod in understanding.

     "But all I want is for you to be happy. Even if it is with Kiara." she says. Suddenly, the mention of Kiara's name astonishes me. "What?!" I say taken aback. "Isn't she the one you were talking about?" she asks, also in confusion. "No, no no. Absolutely not. Her and I still aren't close." I tell her, waving my hands around in the form of an 'X' sign.
  
     "Then who was it about?" she asks. I look at her, "The beautiful hot mess sitting next to me." I finally tell her. "Hailee, I've been in love with since the day we met. My feelings only grew all the more when we stared into each other's eyes or talked or anything." I say to her. "All I wanted since then was to put a smile on your face and to finally give you the world you deserve. But I didn't know you had a boyfriend." I tell her. As I'm talking to her, I realize that I'm opening up. I'm vulnerable, but it felt good and right.

     "When I found out, I was angry. Not at you, but myself. How could I've been so stupid to think you'd feel the same way?" I say to her. "But I realize that avoiding was much worse because it only increased the pain all the more. Because the truth is I've never felt this way. Even in the past." I tell her, kicking myself for bringing up the past.

     "I'm glad you're opening up to me. Would you mind telling me about this whole past thing. I feel like it would clear a lot for you." she finally said to me. I thought about it for a moment, then I nodded.

     "A few years back, I was still an author and actress writing away and acting to my hearts content. The only difference was I could feel so much. I eventually met this girl, Angela. She was absolutely beautiful. We talked a couple of times, then hung out more. One thing led to another and we started dating. Everything was going so well that I fell in love with her after a year of dating." I say to her. She nods and listens to me.

     "Later on, my relationship became public. Paparazzi started swarming her everywhere they went. She was always super anxious around the crowd. We started to fight a lot and it was about three to five times a week. But I still loved her no matter what. And I hope she did too." I say, taking another pause. "She did." I hear Hailee say.

    "One particular afternoon, our argument got so bad that she decided to stay at her sisters house for the night and told me that we'd talk the next day. We told each other that we loved one another and she left in her car. I had been writing my book when I saw on the news that a car had crashed onto one of the bridges in LA. Anglela's car. I was utterly shocked." I take a pause again to take a breath I order to stop my tears from falling.