My Ex-Bestfriend

Prom

This morning, a few short hours ago marked a full week of our bedtime adventures. It's also Saturday and of course today happens to be prom. So when I rolled over and Michael's side of the bed had long grown cold.....my stomach twisted. This is the first time he hasn't waited for me. 

My heart raced because I had let myself fall without any regard for repercussions. I knew that my life on this Earth couldn't ever be too perfect without some catastrophic event occurring to bring me crashing back to reality. This was of course no exception.

I reached for my phone hoping to squelch my anxiety with a text message from Michael informing me of where he darted off too....but nothing. Do I text him? Call him? Wait for his text? I have never had to play these mind games with him before but I don't want to come off as clingy or needy.

My heart was heavy but I decided to push my fears aside. I knew Michael. Just like I knew the sun would rise and set each day. He wouldn't just abandon me especially after he told me he loved me. I have always counted on his loyalty so this wouldn't be any different.

I get it. So naive. Like a guy hasn't told a girl that he loved her to get in her pants before but my brain on loop kept telling me Michael was different. It's not like it was the first time we had said those words but we both knew that this time it meant something much deeper. I sent him a quick text to see if we were still on to meet up at prom. We never discussed "us" going to prom.

I waited.... and waited. I am sure he was busy with preparations like myself but he never texted.

This entire week we never talked about a future or labels. Where was the time? We are in the last weeks of school and preoccupied. Any spare minute we had we didn't talk with words just our body. I just rolled with it, most of the time we quite literally rolled with it naked in the bed sheets. We hadn't talked about Colleen this past week or even about "us". In fact we completely left her out of the equation entirely.

I obviously assumed that when you sleep with your best friend your girl friend is no longer in the picture. However as  life tells us you can't just assume.
HELLO another red flag. He had a girlfriend and we messed around MULTIPLE times. We were both so busy this week that I hadn't noticed if they were even still together. I am usually last to hear the rumor mill gossip, being a social outcast and all, but still it was radio silence.

I knew for prom he had committed to going with Colleen ages ago.  Michael was a man of his word, a quality I liked except for at this particular moment. I knew that for people like Colleen prom was a benchmark on their life timeline. For me it was an insignificant check box my dad insisted I do. Maybe he would "take" her since he did commit to going and it would be a dick move to bail now but he would spend the dance with me?

My dad had convinced me to go to prom. He never really insisted on anything hence why Michael was a frequent flier in my bedroom at night. So this one time I thought I would indulge him. He also spilled the beans about a car that he got me for graduation. Of course not a new car but it had 4 wheels and it got me from point A to point B so I was thrilled.

In the boxes of my mom's old belongings  there was the dress that she wore to prom when she went with my dad. Without even asking I knew my dad wanted me to wear that dress and attend prom just to be closer to my mom to walk in her footsteps.

I rarely ever wore dresses. EVER. How can you play basketball or hang upside down from a jungle gym in a dress? I knew though that my childish wardrobe would soon have to change if I pursued my career as a reporter. I could make an exception to my no dress policy especially since it belonged to my mom. Besides, wearing a pantsuit to a prom was something I couldn't even do.

I was obligated to attend prom regardless in order to finish the Senior year last edition Newspaper. I might puke if I have to write about Michael and Colleen getting prom King and Queen. It's a good lesson in keeping my bias out of it.