My Ex-Bestfriend

School Prep.

True to his word Michael shows up at church on Sunday. These are the qualities that made it so easy to fall in love with him but also why it hurt when he crushed me. He always stepped up to the plate when needed. I was there for him with basketball but he also spent countless times driving me around chasing leads for the school paper. Asking was just a formality with Michael because no matter what he followed through....except when he didn't.

Michael shows up in business casual that is clearly tailor made to fit his gym ripped body. The unmarried women are giving him extra attention with lingering looks accompanied by hair flips. Yes, even at church,in fact fact especially a church. An unmarried attractive man showing up to a Sunday service is the stuff of fantasies for these women. I am sure he is an answer to many of their prayers.

Walt walks between us as he holds my hand.  Walt then reaches up to offer his other hand to Michael which he happily takes. One of the few memories I have of my parents is when I would walk hand in hand between them and they would swing me. I would sail through the air weightless and carefree with the tether of my parents to hold on to. I don't remember ever  feeling that safe. Up to this point I have never been able to share that sentiment with Walt since we were a duo not a trio. Today though I flash Michael a nod which he acknowledges and on the count of three we hoist Walt through air while we maintain our grip around his hands. Walt grins the biggest grin from ear to ear. Followed by again and again til we hit the church doors.

I look at Michael who is staring at Walt with an expression I am all too familiar with, unconditional love that he has for our son. That twinkle in the eye when you know life can be complete garbage but as long as your child is healthy you can do anything. How come no one told me its freaking hot seeing a dad step up to the role of a dad. Now I am fan girling over Michael like every thirsty female in this chapel. I need to reign in my lust right now though not only cause we are at church but also the circumstances. We are better friends than lovers and that's what I need to keep reminding myself.

We drop off Walt at the Children's ministry while Michael accompanies me to the service.

"When did you start coming to church?" Michael asks curiously.

"When I had Walt." I shrug.

"Just never pegged you as a church goer."

I lift an eyebrow up in defense causing him to clarify.

" Its just that I know you were upset when your mom died and thought you had a grudge is all."

I let out a sigh, " I gave God a second chance I guess you can say. I needed help when I was pregnant with Walt and God delivered. So I am here to stay now."

"Glad to know you believe in second chances." The smirk on his face gives me the feeling that I would be paying for that comment at some point or maybe that's wishful thinking.

The worship music starts as the leader asks us to stand. I hold on to the pew in front of us. Michael rests his hand on top of mine. I want to pull away but even these small bits of contact make my heart feel whole for however brief they are.

After church Michael insists on lunch before new school clothes shopping for Walt. He has to wear a uniform to his new school and Lord knows I do not have the budget for embroidered school logo clothes. I appreciate that Michael doesn't make me ask for help but that he takes the initiative. He also knows if he asked I would decline for help even though I would need to take it.

Errands took longer than expected with the completion of his extensive school supply list. It's now dinner time and without missing a beat Michael orders pizza to be delivered and devoured at home.  There is a carton of Neapolitan ice cream in the fridge that I pull out for dessert.