My Ex-Bestfriend

The Aftermath

PRESENT DAY (Day after prom):

My body eventually gave out on me last night allowing me to succumb to sleep. When I woke this morning I had an eerie feeling it was all a bad nightmare. Until my eyelids flutter open revealing the severed rope from the ladder in tattered remnants that still clung to my window.

I know I have been through worse. That on the richter scale of life this is the worst after all I have lost my mom literally before my eyes. What hits harder though is I have actually known Michael twice as long. My mother was forced to love me unconditionally but Michael chose to love me. 

I check my phone again. Still no message. For some reason that alone re-shatters my broken heart all over again.  I swallow the cry that wants to escape. So foreign to my body. Of course I had conjured up some romantic gesture that he would want to repair things, proclaiming his love for me and begging for forgiveness but unlike cheesy rom-coms this didn't happen. 

I spend the rest of today typing up the last article I would ever write for the newspaper.  Of course with my bad luck it has to be an article about Michael and his-better- than- me -newly -devirginized girlfriend. So it's not much of a distraction from my present situation. I want to push my journal code of ethics aside to discuss the superficiality of prom night but I am better than that.

I refuse to be petty plus I want my journalistic integrity intact. I know that  as a future reporter I won't always get to pick my interests or beliefs.

I  survive the rest of the weekend with dad delivering neapolitan ice cream to my door with pizza. I refuse to eat the strawberry portion instead I hurl it at Michael's house outside the window.

I knew Michael could see what I had done. The rope ladder was always visible from his bedroom. He would see it cut and what it meant. Yet nothing. Maybe I was trying to goad him into a reaction. Anything was better than feeling like a nothing. My heart kept waiting for him to pound on our front door begging, pleading for a second chance. I am not prepared to forgive him but I still want the option. I check my cell for the 100th time today and still no messages either. No knock and no text. That tiny sliver of my heart closing up and a wall is being fortified and built around it. The realization setting in that my knight in shining armor is actually the court coward. 

This week is the last week of school. It is finals for most unless you have grades like mine then they allow you to opt out. I just need to submit the paper for final approval to Mrs. Levi before I head out those double doors for the last time.

I put on my best brave face. I prepare for the mission to be in and out as quickly as possible to avoid any awkward run-ins. Like every time before Mrs. Levi approves my paper but this time delivers an awkward hug as we say our goodbyes. She was a great teacher and journalistic inspiration that I can't  wait until I get to college to further my portfolio. This has been the only bright spot in the past few days.

The absolute last thing I need or want to do is empty my locker but as fate would have it was right under Colleens. Convenient for Michael when we were friends but now a problem. I scan the hallway but since it is still early before school has started there aren't many people traipsing about. I beeline it to my locker as I start chucking everything into my bag. No time or cares to relish in this monumental life passage. I just want to get in and out as quickly as possible without being seen. 

I hear the familiar clinking behind me of her damn high heels. It always grated my nerves but today in particular my patience is wearing thin. We had to wear a school uniform but footwear had no restrictions. Colleen wore high heeled shoes every freaking day. I think I would have a heart attack if I saw her in tennis shoes.

Her basic friends in tow as well. Of course they were, why wouldn't they be? I sigh as I pick up my pace grabbing armfuls of things shoving them in my bag as trash falls to the ground cursing myself for being so disheveled.

"You guys sorry I couldn't text. It was the most magical weekend ever." Colleen flutters her eyelashes exuberantly. I clench my jaw so hard my teeth might break under the pressure.

Just great. Now I get to hear Colleen gushing to her friends.

"He was so sweet, kind and respectful."

Her friends coon in unison, "Awe! Y'all are a story book romance!"

I hold in a scoff. If she only knew her story book romance wasn't all a lie. At least on his end.

"Was it good??? Did it hurt??" The Basic crew asks.

"I can't kiss and tell but I will say I haven't stopped smiling since."

The basic friends sigh and smile. I feel acid in my stomach defying gravity. Everything that I would ever care to keep was in my bag and I tossed it over my shoulder slamming the locker closed.

I didn't realize I took my anger out the locker, the slam causing Colleen along with her entire crew to jump.

"Geesh, someone needs to get laid." I didn't need to hear who said that, I knew it was Colleen. Apparently after one time she is now a novice.

I turn around but my mouth freezes. I see Michael now hovering behind Colleen mouth ajar.

Would it matter if I just confessed everything then in there? Broke Colleen's perfect little fantasy world. It wouldn't matter though because no one would believe it. I would be the delusional "lesbo" just looking for attention.

I turn back around to head for the doors. Did Michael follow me out and come confess his undying love and forgiveness? No. That coward didn't move an inch from Colleen's side.

That was the last thing I needed. I had doubts before but now I knew what I was going to do. With that final straw I officially made up my mind. There was no way on this planet that I would spend my summer next door to my now nemesis.

I know it will take some convincing but I have a plan to get back the control I had over my life. To restore my sanity.

My dad wasn't  too sentimental even though I am his only child but he understood I needed to get away. I didn't have to go into details of what transpired with Michael, it was as if my dad knew.

I had already planned for early admittance to college but I didn't want to wait until after graduation. I want to head out now. I don't want to spend one more minute at a school activity with Colleen and Michael. I can just get my diploma in the mail. There is summer freshmen orientation and the dorms are already open. My dad agreed so we packed up the few belongings I would need with me for the dorm today while everyone else finished their exams I headed out.

Dad gave me another long embrace. I think it is a record, two hugs in the same week. As I pull away from the place that held treasured memories I knew in my heart that I was never coming back. I do one last thing. I pull out my phone to block Michael.

I don't care what excuse he has or why he did what he did. I never want to waste another word on someone who doesn't care about me.