Alaysha's POV
"Hold hands as you cross the street " i say sternly as all four rugrats run across the street
" dont think about letting go either Jacob!"
I follow after them, Chyna following close behind and Samir holding tightly onto my hand .
It was a nice afternoon and even prettier on this side of town . The sky was full of grey dusk but yet the still swallowed you whole with warmth. Definitely beautiful weather especially considering it was early spring .We have just came from church ; the girls loved putting on their dresses and pretending they were princesses . The kids laughed and played in the grass , walking up the sidewalk. The girls were getting their white stockings all green from the grass and my two boys pants were all wrinkled .
" your dad is gonna kill me " i pretended to whine as i walked past them, to the direction of her .
All the kids got up quickly and ran after me. As we got close to her the twins started running past me right up to her tomb stone. Its been 4 years since Dalliyann has passed . Every year since then, we visit her tomb stone on day she died and take her a letter and a bunch a flowers . This year , no flowers , we brought inscents instead , an idea Chyna proposed .
" hey mommy , " the twins almost say in unison, jumping onto the heap of dirt in front of her gravestone .
I laugh to myself , knowing if she could speak from heaven she'd yell and tell Jermaine get the hell out of the dirt with that new tux and Tell Jordan get up before she scuffs her new church shoes but I let them be.
" mommy we miss you ..." Jordan began to cry , I knelled beside her and rubbed her back .
" baby , stop that crying . Your mommy wouldn't want you crying sweetheart " I say softly
She wiped her face and smiled lightly and took the picture she and Jermaine drew out her hello-kitty purse. And placed it in front of the grave stone .
" we drew it for you " Jermaine smiled , " because we love and miss you , a lot . "
He kissed the hard black stone and it brang tears to my eyes but i had to keep it together , i f start crying they'll cry again .
" mommy dont cry " Michael Joelle said to me wiping my face the sitting in my lap
" i'm not " i lied
I was really crying because they wouldn't even be able to really miss their mom like i would be able to . they only knew memories that i told them of her before they were born and some after . Dalliyann was put in jail almost as soon as they were born .
" i'm going to take Samir and Jacob to meet Saiyer at the diner down the street . " chyna said
"Alright . ill be there soon. Take the twins and Michael with you "
She does as shes told and all the kids follow her . Chyna now 14 , always reminds me of her father but i love her far too much to send her back to her mother ,who can barely feed her own mouth .
" Dallyiann , i miss you " i say aloud
I place the letter down at her tombstone and get up slowly. I can never stay here long , flashbacks always come back into my head from times before. Especially the moment when she came with Zanee late at night asking for help. I wish I did more , I could've done more .
Tears started to fall from my eyes and take out the inscents from my purse . i poke them in the ground and light them . blowing out all flames i put the letter into the jar with the inscents and start making my way to the diner .
Dear Dalliyann ,
Its been awhile , a long while. All these kids Dalliyann , i"ll tell you . it wasn't easy . its still not easy . i find myself wondering how can i do it , how Will these kids end up? I'm not a great mother probably only half the mother you would be but as time goes on i realized i'm all these kids have . Sasha dropped Jacob off one day and said "here's your son , Saiyer . i dont want the fucker anymore , he's a waste of time . " Jacob was only two , he cried a week straight , crying for his mom. He still asks for her , I don't know what to tell him. I say she'll be back , knowing that bitch will never come back. All she ever wanted was Saiyer. Not jacob. Same for Samir really, Daysha dropped him off one day with Declan and never came back to get em . how could they just abandoned their kids? But you know what ... Sometimes i feel like you did too ...you abandoned all of us .
Chyna lives with us still , her mother is still struggling but i don't mind . She helps me watch the kids , she's a nice girl. I think if you got to know her more you would love her as much as I do.
How about the twins , huh? When you look down how do you feel about your beautiful babies? Jermaine and Jordan are the smartest kids i know. And guess what? Jordan and Michael Jollé have become the best of friends, assuming they would since they share a room. Jordan reminds me of you , she so outspoken , beautiful , and smart .
your babies only know of you, not Quashawn. Quashawn calls and calls and calls but i will never let them get in contact with him . he's IS the reason we all dont have you so how could i let them have any relationship with him ? i wish , you could still be here Dalli . we miss you . i need you still. But like i promised to take care of you , i will take care of Our family . since you cannot .... i guess just because you died , doesnt mean our family has to suffer ...
I love you girl.
Sayier's POV
Alaysha walks in the diner , never have a seen her look more beautiful. I get out of my chair and walk up to her to lead her back to our table .
"Hey baby "she softly speaks into my ear
When we get to the table i push in her chair and kiss her on the forehead . i love my family . All of them , even Michael Jollé , eben though she's not mine .We all ordered our food . The talk of the table just made a day cheerful . hearing all the little voices and all the kids were very well behaved. Im proud to be the lead of this family, the one they all call dad . Looking up at my wife , the once beautiful expression seemed disgusted as she gazed at the table. abruptly she got up and stormed out the restaurant.
" chyna ?!" i call , " watch them ."
She nods her head then i follow after Alaysha.
Outside it was windy and began to rain slightly . I don't understand.
"alaysha " i called after her
She turned around , makeup smudge all around her face from the tears that she clearly cried.
" alaysha why-"
" i cant do this!" she screamed to the top of her lungs and fell into the gravel of the parking lot
I ran to her to help her up ,
" what do you mean , you cant do this?" i asked ,scared of the response
" those kids . those kids arent mine , except Michael. Im stressed out Saiyer !" she cried ,
She became heavier and harder to lift up , I lead her to the sidewalk near the diner .
" those are Our kids , Alaysha " i smiled " our beautiful kids . "
Her eyes looked at me coldly, without emotion.
" we have one daughter . one child . " she said dryly
"Michael isnt my daughter " i say coldly.
Right after saying it i felt horrible. Alaysha got up and started walking inside the diner . when she came back out she came out with Michael and Chyna. She walked past me and started walking with them towards the street . i didnt bother calling after her . i knew she wouldn't turn back.
I turn back and went back inside to check on our kids , who she just left without supervusion. Its okay though , i'll take care of our family .
