CHAPTER SEVEN: a fate so fickle.
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Time passes by in a blur.
( Does it really? Does time ever pass, or is it just you that's forever stuck in a loop you can't bear to forget? )
Ever since you came out of that hospital, everything was different– you, being the most glaringly obvious one, however, your behavioural change was blamed on the trauma from the terrible incident. ( it was a tragic accident, what happened to— )
The truth, however, tastes like ash in your mouth. It's your fault that this happened in the first place.
It's a bitter realisation. You're alive, but you don't even feel like you are.
"You don't look well," someone says, joining next to you underneath the tree that was in the playground you frequented.
You don't respond.
"Is it because of the 'earthquake'?"
It's said so flippantly, and if you didn't know who this was, you'd have stayed unresponsive– yet you do. A horrible, terrible feeling settles itself in your stomach as you give a sharp stare towards the questioner.
"You know," the boy drawls, "it's weird how no one felt anything before the buildings collapsed. It's almost like..." he pauses, glancing at you with the corner of his eye, "magic, isn't it?"
"I don't know what you mean," you mumble softly, afraid.
( Afraid of the consequences afraidafraid you're a monster you almost killed everyone you're just like himhimhimhim— )
"And so she talks!" Severus quips, putting a bookmark in the book he has been reading, "you know what I mean."
"And what if– what if I do?" ( Why are you doing this? Haven't I been a good friend to you, Severus? )
"I won't demand you to explain yourself to me," he starts carefully, "but I won't let you waste away like this either."
What does he know? This ignorant, petulant child. Doesn't he know you deserve to rot in all layers of hell for what you had done? ( To your friends, you killed— )
"It wasn't your fault, Lily. Whatever happened there... you were not responsible for it, so don't act like you damned the entire world."
( ... once a lifetime ago, you had pleaded for mercy.
The one you pleaded to had responded you didn't deserve any. )
You eyes cast down to your lap.
"...okay."
It was easier said than done, but Severus looked pleased all the same.
"Great. Now, as I was saying yesterday..."
You don't even say a word as Severus goes on a tangent about a book you had lent him before; both there, but also not.
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Mrs. Evans, by all means, was not a terrible parent. In fact, most would consider her as the opposite– even if she could be hardheaded and sometimes downright unbearable– she was a loyal mother and a wife, a worrywart and firmly protective of those dear to her.
And it wasn't entirely a shock to know she was worried about her youngest, her perfect little Lily Evans, either. She was her baby girl; who was as serene as a swan in a lake, who had the most beautiful hair of copper and a charming smile ever so wise.
( – but also, her baby girl; with the forever haunted look in her eyes so bottle green, her detachment so severe she felt like a stranger sometimes, the way she never called her 'mum' once— )
Mrs. Evans, despite what the men at her workplace seemed to think, was not an idiot.
Whatever happened to Lily didn't happen in one go. The earthquake incident was just a catalyst for what followed– and she still wasn't sure just what happened quite yet. The earthquake was too destructive for her to not feel it, and... there was this feeling in the destroyed area she got whenever she was near her daughter as well.
The place was vibrating with it.
Strange things seemed to follow her little daughter everywhere she went, as it seemed.
( Somewhere next to Miranda Evans carefully thinking, little Petunia Evans frowns.
— "Mum!! Look, what I drew!!" — a distant sound of appreciation unlike usual — "That's nice, dear."
– Miranda Evans catering to Lily Evans more than usual—
warm brown eyes flashing a cold green with envy. )
It was just so unfortunate she had no time to dwell on such things.
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🌻🌾( ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ ⍣ ೋ )
— — — — — —AUTHOR'S NOTE : 𝄢𝄞
i am so bored but also my other works require most of my brain power so u get this abomination !!!!!!— — — — — —
by soda.
YOU ARE READING
monachopsis.
Fanfiction❪ harry potter marauders era. ❫ - they licked your bones clean by the end of it. ©sodaholics, 2O22.