Ricky
"Fuck you Ricky." Chris's voice was still ringing in my ears as I jolted awake in a cold sweat. I blinked in the darkness and tried to sit up but something was restricting me. I reached down and oh yeah. It's just Devin. I wiped my forehead and tried to steady my nerves to no avail. I started sobbing for no fucking reason and Devin held me tightly, apparently he had woke without my knowing. When will the torment of my nightmare finally end? Should i tell anyone?
"Can i go have a word with Josh Dev?" I wiped my tears and he slowly removed his arms. I got out of the bunk and went to the front where Josh was. I was gonna ask his opinion on telling anyone else or not.
"I was really hoping you would start talking to Ghost about it then me as much." Josh says before i could get a word out. "Go Ricky."
Guess there's my answer.
"You have a boyfriend that cares so fucking much about you baby." Devin said behind me. I turned and he hugged me tightly again. "You can talk to me about anything you know that right Ricky?"
I nodded and he smiled and kissed my head. He then led me back to bed and had me tell him about my nightmare. I left out the part of him and Chris.....kissing because it was a little too weird. He frowns and reassured me that Chris could never be that douchy, i was an amazing guitar player and that he'd never ever put me in harm's way. I nodded once more and we went back to sleep. I hope talking about it means i won't have it anymore.
*time skip: several hours later*
This is the first morning i've not been up with the sun or at least up with Chris. They all wanted me up but Devin said to let me sleep and they all resigned to leaving me alone. I could use a few extra hours shuteye. When I woke up again the bus was silent and I looked at my phone. Wow, it's 2 in the afternoon. Alrighty then. I got out of the bunk and stretched.
"Morning Ricky." Devin says from the couch where he was on his phone.
"Where is everyone?" I shuffled out and sat by him.
"Who knows? We have a free day until tonight's show. So I stayed back with you."
"You didn't have too.....but I'm glad you did." I smiled and he started making himself lunch. I stayed on the couch trying to wake up and rubbed my eyes.
"How'd you sleep? You were still asleep when I got up so I didn't wanna wake you."
"Just fine, you?"
"Same. Eat some breakfast. Most important meal of the day."
"But it's 2 in the afternoon."
"Eat something Ricky."
I sighed and got myself a sandwich. However I didn't eat, I just stared at it.
"You know you have to pick it up. It won't magically jump into your mouth."
I actually wasn't hungry so I pushed it aside but Devin pushed it back.
"You're not gonna starve yourself again. Ricky you understand?"
I sighed and nodded slightly. It was gonna be hard, Hell who said overcoming eating disorders was easy? I took a small bite and Devin stopped nagging but he kept watching. Damnit i can't get out of this.
"Can you not Devin?" I said uncomfortably. I don't like people staring at me while i do things. The stage is different, im fine with people staring at me there. But when i'm on the bus i dont like it.
"Okay, but i'm staying in the room though. You eat that please Ricky."
He stands and walked over to the couch and laid on it. I slowly started eating again and then went over to him.
"Thank you. Just trying to keep you out of the hospital baby." Devin says and i laid on him since the couch was small and he took up all of it. He put his arms around me and i decided to take a nap despite having just woken up. When we aren't on tour or this bus, me and Devin can do a lot more things. And i cant wait for them.
