Ricky
"Nothing in mind can replace where I have come from.
Can someone tell me who the fuck I am?
Now I'm on my knees, try to drain this disease
Repair this machine with unsteady hands." Chris sings into the mike he held while we performed Break The Cycle. He puts his arm around my shoulder as I played and I looked over to see Ghost glaring. He looked so jealous and I don't know of who or why. I was so consumed by my thoughts I totally fucked up a couple notes and Chris stopped singing and lowered his mike. Everyone stopped playing and the crowd started shouting angrily. They were shouting at me specifically. Chris backed up a few steps and points at me and says into the mic. "Fuck you Ricky. You've thrown the whole goddamn show off and that's unforgivable. So that's it, you're out." The crowd cheers wildly as Chris just kicked me out of Motionless In White. Ghost walked over and him and Chris kissed then Ghost pushed me into the angry mob of fans while security did nothing to control the fans so they beat me senseless.
I sat up gasping and looked at my phone. 2:16 am. Damn. Everyone was in their bunks and Josh, our tour manager, was driving. I heard Balz snoring, Chris's music through his headphones, and Ghost was moaning for some reason. Was he-......was he fucking with someone? At 2 in the morning?! I climbed out of my top bunk and quietly approached Ghost's bunk. I opened the curtains and nope it was just him. I smiled softly, he looked so cute when he was sleeping......what? Don't think like that Ricky. I shook my head and closed his curtains. I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I rubbed my eyes and splashed some water in my face. I had the nightmare again and it always left me so shaken afterwards. That was like my worst fear, messing up so badly on stage that everyone gets angry at me and Chris kicks me out of the band. That part of Ghost pushing me into the crowd is because a) I'm extremely claustrophobic and b) this band was my escape from an abusive relationship so that's why the fans started beating me up. Now about the Ghost kissing Chris part....... He's openly gay and I don't know about Chris. I'm positive he's straight but that could change. I was a closet gay with a some mixed feelings about Ghost. I walked to the front of the bus for something to drink when I saw Josh look in the rear view mirror.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"You have the nightmare again Ricky?" I grabbed a bottled water and go to where the driver sits and sat on the floor.
"Y-Yeah."
"You're usually not this shaken up. Something new happen in it?"
"Well I messed up and everyone stopped so that's not new. Chris says fuck you and said I was unforgivable then kicked me out of the band so neither is that. Ghost....." I faltered.
"What'd Ghost do?"
"He walked over to Chris a-and....."
"And?"
"AndthenGhostkissedChris." I ran my words together quickly and prayed he didn't ask me to repeat it.
"He did what? Ricky don't run your words together."
"I said and then Ghost pushed me into the crowd and they beat me up."
"No you said something different."
"W-what?....n-no I didn't." I stood hastily and immediately regretted it. I got massively lightheaded and ended up on the floor again with a thud.
"Ricky? Ricky answer me if you can hear me." Josh asks still driving. I groaned and closed my eyes for second.
"Ricky you okay?" He asks and I sat up slowly.
"Y-Yeah I just stood too fast." I held my head and used a cabinet handle to pull myself back up. I still felt dizzy and stumbled back to my bunk. Balz was still snoring loudly and Ghost was still moaning in his sleep. I opened his curtains again considering waking him but he looked like an angel when he slept so I refrained for doing so. I smiled again and kissed his cheek, accepting the fact I may be falling hard for him. I left his curtains open and crawled back into my bunk and laid awake till Chris got up a a few hours later and started waking everyone. I went into the bathroom again and pulled off my shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. My ribs and collar bones were sticking out and my stomach was almost non existent. I frowned and at the moment the door started opening and I saw blond hair and shrieked covering my upper body with my shirt.
"SORRY!" Ghost quickly shuts the door and I heard laughter and footsteps run off. I didn't see his face when he started coming in but that doesn't mean Ghost didn't see me shirtless. I know they'll all go ballistic and force me to eat, I haven't in about a month, so I'm always cautious to keep a shirt on. Oh my fuck that was entirely too close for comfort. I put my shirt back on and ran a hand through my long black hair.
