the winner takes it all

SIXTEEN

Annabeth has a difficult conversation with herself, Percy, and gods-damned Octavian

Content Warning: Brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Annabeth spends the entire time flying to Camp Jupiter anxiously leaning on the deck's rail, scanning the horizon. It's a sign of Leo and the Hephaestus cabin's incredible skill that they're able to make it from Portland to San Francisco in only a few hours, a journey that would have taken nearly half a day by car. It would have been faster to go through the Labyrinth, but they need the Argo 3, and it's way too dangerous to navigate through parts of the maze they don't know with so many demigods. After Reyna, they cannot afford to lose another of the Seven.

Her shoulders hunch over, and because everyone is sleeping below deck, she puts her head in her hands. As a daughter of Athena who had been at Camp Half-Blood since she was seven, there had always been a lot of pressure on her. When the war with Kronos started, she was thrust into the role of camp leader with Percy. And then when she'd woken up at the Wolf House with Lupa and gone on the quest to free Thanatos with Hazel and Frank, there had been so many more expectations on her. Hazel and Frank were new demigods, and she'd had to lead the quest. Even though she'd had amnesia for most of it.

Waking up alone at the Wolf House without her memories had been terrifying. She did not know who she was, where she'd been, or what was going on. Lupa had taught her how to be a demigod and told her about their world. That was all she'd known. Annabeth had woken up two years ago with only two names: her own, and Percy Jackson.

She couldn't have told Hazel and Frank what Percy looked like. She couldn't have described his raspy laugh, the way his eyes turned up at the corners when he laughed, or the way he used to look at her before he even realized his own feelings.

Annabeth, Hazel, and Frank had saved Camp Jupiter with the reinforcements from Hylla's army (Frank had not enjoyed being held hostage by the Amazons while they reasoned with Reyna's older sister). There has been so much pressure during that quest to return in time to save everyone. It reminded Annabeth of retrieving the Golden Fleece with Percy, or bolting through the Labyrinth back to camp ahead of Kronos's army when they were fifteen.

When she led Camp Half-Blood to war and led the Seven alongside Reyna, the pressure had been higher than ever. And then they lost, and she became the leader of their underground base. There had been a long time, those first few months, where everything had seemed hopeless. They were all going to die, the Giants had won. She didn't want to live in that world. Annabeth had wanted to end her life for the first six months they were in hiding in the Labyrinth. But she could never do it because too many people were depending on her. If she died, they would too.

Now here she is, leading demigods to war once again. They haven't even encountered the Giants, and it's still more likely than not they're going to die tomorrow. It's terrible to have so much expected of her. Even though they all know the risks, Annabeth can still tell that Hazel, Frank, Jason, Piper, and Leo are trusting her to get them to victory. She can't shake the feeling that she's leading them to their deaths.

"Shouldn't you take your own advice and get some rest?"

Annabeth's head shoots out of her hands faster than Nico's departure from any social event. She had thought she was alone, which is why she let her guard down momentarily. Inwardly, Annabeth curses at herself for being an idiot. She must always stay on guard, she knows this. The deck of the ship is not a private space.

She looks at the intruder, and it's Percy, because of course it is. He's come up from the starboard side of the ship where the sickbay, storage, mess hall, and stables are. No wonder he managed to surprise her. He's clearly just come from storage since he's holding battle armor. That's suspicious in itself, as his skin is impenetrable from the Achilles Curse. He must be getting it for someone.