Obsession

Nine

I smiled down at Chris completely embarrassed by the conversation we were having. It is now 2 months away from prom and I had the harebrained idea to talk about what our plans would be after we leave prom. With Chris and I both being virgins I'm a little nervous and unsure if sex should be the route we take. Chris however can't stop describing in graphic detail what he's going to do to my body. He would demonstrate on a throw pillow all the different positions he wanted to put me in. It's shocking to see this side of him when he himself has never had sex. "Are you sure you're a virgin?" I asked in wonder. My question must have caught him off guard because he stopped humping on the pillow.

He pretends to wipe sweat from his forehead before plopping down next to me, "Yes I'm a virgin. You really think those stuck up bitches at that school checking for me?" His brows shot up in curiosity and I frowned at his words.

"So I'm a stuck up bitch?" I mimicked his previous facial expression trying so desperately not to bust up laughing in his face. I loved making him nervous. "N-no that's not what I meant-- I just...you're not a bitch Leah I'm sorry I said that." No longer able to stifle my laughter I fell back on his matress cracking up. Poor thing really thought I was hurt by his words. When I noticed the doeful look still etched on his face I immediately ceased cackling.

"Chris I'm-"

"Aha, gotcha!" I slap him with the pillow he was previously assaulting. "Not funny jerk." I pout.

"But you did it to me."

"So you're not supposed to do what I do." Pulling my body into his I cave inside his embrace. We sit quietly listening to the muffled music come from the stereo on his dresser. I like Chris' room it has a dark feel to it but it's still inviting. "How do you know so much about sex?" I asked at random. "I mean I know how you know I guess I'm trying to say how do you know all these positions, the way you were handling that pillow you look like a pro."

He shrugs, "I watch porn."

"Guess I should have known that." We were once again quiet when I notice for the first time out of all the many times I've been in his room that he has a telescope. It was off to the side in the corner with a towel thrown over it. "I never knew you were into Astronomy." I say.

"Hmm?" He hums and I motion towards the telescope. "Oh, uh my grandmother bought me that for my 13th birthday she said it was either that or a stack of books. She's into that whole knowledge is power shit." I nod to let him know that I heard him. "Ever spy on anyone?" His body stiffens which was a dead giveaway that he has. I didn't want to make the mood awkward so I quickly changed the subject back to prom. Chris had gotten hungry so he was now rummaging through his drawer for snacks while I laid looking through a magazine for prom dress ideas. So far nothing was appealing to me.

"You know I always thought Jayson and I would go to prom together." I smiled at the thought. Which quickly faded when I remembered that he was still missing. Vividly I remember when his mother called me over to their house to break the news to me, by then the family was hanging on to a thread of hope as officers told them that Jayson's case was no longer a missing persons but a possible homicide. But who would want to hurt Jayson, yeah he was an asshole but everybody liked him. From what I knew he wasn't involved with gangs or drugs. Sitting here reminiscing had my feelings all out of wack. I feel terrible that I have done nothing to help his family. After all Jayson and I were friends at one point.

"Really?" I heard Chris say before a dark chuckle emitted from his mouth. "What?" I asked honestly confused by his sudden change in mood. He stares at me intensely then says, "Are you really thinking about that nigga while you're with me?" His voice boomed off the walls scaring the heck out of me. I had a feeling I was about to witness another one of his outburts. "Chris calm down I-"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! How would you fucking feel if I told you I was thinking about another girl while I was with you. Do you know how that shit makes me feel? Especially since it's Jayson of all people, the nigga that singlehandedly ruined my childhood. The person that put this label on me that I'm still carrying around to this day! And you wanna tell me to fucking calm down?" My voice was literally trapped inside my throat at that moment. I thought Chris would have some type of compassion or sympathy for what was going on. Whether he liked Jayson or not Jayson was somebody that I knew and despite how things ended between us I still care about him.

"Why are you overreacting!" I found myself yelling just as loudly as he was. He narrowed his eyes in shock then gave me an icy stare that seemed to be piercing right through me. "Jayson was my friend Chris, or did you forget that! You're yelling and getting mad for what reason? He's gone! You're still here. Your mother isn't the one crying at night wondering if her son is alive or not! The police aren't out there searching the woods for your body! But you wanna get mad at me for thinking and caring about someone that I love! It's the least I could do since I haven't done anything else!" My chest heaved up and down rapidly as I felt the first few tears roll down my cheeks, after awhile I was full blown crying. I didn't like this side of Chris and I no longer had the desire to be around him. So in a hast I gathered my things and placed them inside my bookbag. "Leah I'm sorry...don't leave...please."

"I really want to be alone right now." I brush pass him not showing him the usual affection I show anytime I leave. The moment I reached my bedroom I collapsed on my bed and cried. I am so mad at Chris and at myself for allowing all these months to go by without showing an ounce of concern that Jay was out there possibly hurt or worst dead. The vibration from my phone brought me from my thoughts. I thought it was Chris calling until I saw Mama Walker flashing on the screen. Inhaling a deep breath I released it slowly before answering, "H-hello?"

"Aleah baby..." Her voice cracked causing me to become more alert, "They found my baby's body...he's dead."

---

I sat watching Leah destroy every inch of her room. I didn't expect for our blowup to have this much of an effect on her. I feel like complete shit, maybe I should call and apologize. As I reach for my phone I see a red Honda civic pull into the Murphy's driveway. Marisol steps out rushing up the steps not even bothering to shut off the car or close the door. What the hell was going on? The front door swung open and Leah collapsed into her arms crying. I couldn't watch this shit anymore. I had to apologize. Stepping into my shoes then throwing on my hoodie I rushed out of my room damn near knocking over my mom. Since the incident with my dad months back we've somewhat gotten closer. My dad moved in with his brother since then and only comes around when I'm not home. The family wants me and him to take therapy sessions together but I'm not for that bullshit. My father and I will never like each other.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" My mom asked chuckling a little. It was nice to see her smiling for once. "I was on my way to see Leah."

Her face softens, "So you heard the news?"

"What news?"

"They found that missing boy's body in Manor creek." Everything around me stopped. "I know Leah must be broken. She really needs you right now Chris. Be there for her."

Be there for her? How could I when I was the reason the nigga was dead in the first place. How could I go around her pretending that I give a fuck when I don't. I had to rethink my decision about going to see her now. Marisol is there I'm sure she'll be fine. So instead of going to Leah's house like I planned I ended up in Thatcher woods at my secret spot. I had to clear my head. I know it's only a matter of time before the police come to the school questioning students. And with the bad history between Jayson and I. I know I'll be the prime suspect.

I don't care though, they can suspect me all they want to. But with no proof what can they can do? I chuckled at my thoughts looking around the room I had setup for this exact day. Leah's pictures were hung along the old worn down walls piecing together an even bigger picture of her. A wicked smile graced my lips as I thought of what I was planning to do. I love Aleah Murphy and I'll be damned if anyone takes her away from me. When I said she was mines I meant that shit. And it's time for her to realize that.