Short Story Soup

Debit Credit Theory

A/N - Normally, if I include music in a chapter it is just because it goes along with it. But in this case, if you have NO idea what the song above is, then you should realize that this chapter is a music challenge to make a story from a song that shouldn't have a story written about it. So you should for sure spend a couple minutes cringing at the above video!

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My left leg bounced in nervousness as I sat outside Mr. Burns' office, and I quickly took out the small pill case in my pocket. Digging through it, I pulled out one of my few remaining anxiety meds and swallowed it quickly, praying it would take effect before I was called into this little impromptu meeting. I already knew what it was about, and I was terrified.

               Accountants were fucking crazy.

               I'd been working in Mr. Burns department for 2 months now, and nothing seemed to be going right. I had never wanted to be an accountant, who would? I'd always wanted to be over doing data analysis! But when your boss tells you that they're cutting costs and you need to make this lateral move or you're fired, then you make the move.

               But it didn't matter. I was pretty sure that all I'd done was delayed the inevitable. If I couldn't figure this shit out, I'd be fired and most likely living in my mom's basement by the end of the month. Not at all where I wanted to be! Why was this happening to me?

               My attention was diverted by the lovely looking brunette, Gabby, at the desk outside Mr. Burns' office. She saw the phone light blinking and smiled at me as she picked it up. "Yes sir? Of course, sir, he's right here." Her eyes flickered to me, and I thought I noticed a bit of pity in them. "Yes, I'll send him right in."

               It was like hearing the impending drums of my doom, but in this case, they were more like a synth pop beat instead. I hated it!

               "Mike, he's ready for you," she told me in a soft voice. She'd been the only one nice to me since my arrival. She always had a kind word for me, and several times had shared a sweet treat with me when she brought too much for lunch. Was I interested in her? Of course! But I also knew the job dictated I do not get distracted.

               I simply nodded, quickly swallowing what seems like a gallon of accumulated saliva while wiping my sweaty hands on the legs of my work pants. Okay. You can do this Mike. He's just a man, not your supreme overlord or anything. You can find another job, right?

               Standing up, I gave a polite knock on the door to the office, then turned the handle and stepped inside. Mr. Burns gave me a piercing look and glanced at the chairs in front of his desk. I walked quickly over to them and sat in the one on the right. Or should I hate taken the one on the right? Shit! Did it matter? I was already freaking myself out and I really needed my medicine to kick in soon!

               Mr. Burns looked like a nice guy. He was young, maybe 10 years older than me, and a little pudgy. He had an affinity for red ties, but they weren't those annoying power ties. I think it might have just been a favorite color. But when he got on a roll about work, his voice rose in intensity to a point where it was mildly terrifying. Right now, he was just staring at me, as though he were gathering his thoughts.

               Finally, he let out a deep sigh, and leaned forward, his elbows on the cheap laminate of the crappy office work desk he had. "Mike, I'm going to make this simple. What side to Credits go on?"

               Yep, I knew this was coming. "The right side sir."

               "And debits? What side to they go one Mike?" he said as his eyes narrowed.