Short Story Soup

Merry XXX-Mas (gxg)

A/N - I keep telling myself I should write some holiday themed stories, and yet I have so many other books that I'm writing that I don't really have the time. But, I can make the time for a holiday one shot! So, here is a silly/cringy Christmas one shot. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!

***

"Natalie, where the hell is he?" Mrs. Claus, Jo to her friends, groaned in annoyance. She was already bundled up in her Santa suit and ready to go on the around the world flight, since Santa always seemed to get lost, and hated having to wait on the old pervert. The sleigh was loaded, the deer were getting antsy, and all that was needed was Santa. What a nightmare.

"I'm not sure ma'am, he was supposed to be here already!" Natalie answered nervously while reaching over and under the suit to rub Jo's lower back, hoping to help relieve some of her tension. She'd been the Personal Assistant to Josephine Claus ever since the human woman had been roped into an arranged marriage back in 1932 by her father Ole Kirk Kristiansen, the founder of Lego.

What? You didn't really think that little plastic blocks that snap together and are a peril to step on could be the biggest toy manufacturer in the world on their own, did you? Having Santa stick a box of them under every tree for almost a century sure helps a lot with that!

Jo was a tall, statuesque woman who wanted nothing to do with the old man she'd married, and Santa had soon gone back to banging every elf he could instead of trying to bed the woman he'd coerced into living at the North Pole. And of course, Jo had Natalie. Not that there was anything between them, regardless of the blushes that they constantly shared whenever they got too close to one another, or like right now when Jo was closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of Natalie's hand helping to soothe her. Oh, did she want that hand elsewhere!

But Santa would flip out. Sure, he could have an orgy with the reindeer handlers, but he was a dirty old guy, and they were girls. The old fart was a big homophobe and had already kicked out several elves for being with those of the same sex. Luckily, Jo had made sure to get them set up with jobs at a 'North Pole' theme park in Finland where they were all much happier.

But Jo was human, and ageless now because she was a Claus. If Santa ever kicked her out and dissolved their marriage, she would cease to be a Claus and all her years would catch up to her at once. Considering that she was 115 years old, that wouldn't go over well.

In Natalie's mind, Jo was the most wonderful woman on the planet. She was a six foot tall blonde with luscious curves that made Natalie's slim figure weak in the knees. And to Jo, Natalie was her adorable assistant, who needed to wear heels just to reach Jo's shoulders. She was slim, but with a perfectly shaped ass and athletic legs that Jo wanted to grip every night.

Natalie knew about Santa's proclivities and bigotry, but never realized that Jo had secretly liked her. She would always hope so, but she just assumed that Mrs. Claus was being nice, as she was to everyone. Natalie never noticed the gazes that were on her every time she turned her back on the woman, or that the uniform skirts that were assigned to her were a little shorter than regulation, and the stockings a little more sheer. But she did know that she'd had a crush on the tall woman from the first moment she'd seen her. The peppermint body wash that she used only made it worse, and there were several times that she thought a whimper might have escaped her throat when they worked side by side and her scent permeated her nostrils.

Just then, a short and round male elf raced into the sleigh stable, interrupting their respective thoughts. "Ummm.. Mrs. Claus, there has been a bit of an incident. Santa... He's dead!"

Jo stood stunned, unable to believe what she'd heard. "He's what? What happened?"

The elf backed away from her, stammering all the way. "The gift wrap celebration. It ummm... it got a little out of hand." He stopped head bowed, as Jo marched past him and headed for the gift wrap room, Natalie jogging to keep up with the blonde's long strides.