Head West, To England - An Alfie Solomons' Tale

Chapter Fourteen: Nightmare

Alfie bolted awake in bed late one night. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel that a thin layer of perspiration now covered his body. For a moment, his brain flashed back to a time when he had been single and alone, so when a soft hand touched his shoulder he jerked around in surprise.

"What's the matter?" Eliana asked, her voice heavy from sleep.

Alfie took a deep breath and placed his hand on top of hers.

"Nothing, El. Go back to sleep," he said.

Their bedroom was dark, but the pale light from the moon outside filtered in, outlining the window with a silvery glow. Alfie rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face. Eliana got up out of bed and disappeared down the hallway, then reemerged with a towel. She settled down behind him on her knees and gently patted the sweat from his neck, shoulders and back. Once she was done she leaned over and placed the towel on his nightstand. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his back.

"You dreamt of the war again?" she asked.

"Nah, shit I've done here," Alfie replied.

He paused a moment before saying. "I'm a bad man, Elly. I'm not a good role model for the boys."

Eliana's closeness was helping soothe him, her soft breathing against his back helped regulate his heart rate. Upon hearing her husband tell her he thought he was a bad man, she squeezed him tight.

"Alfie, the world is not black and white. There is a heavy gray area that human beings are uncomfortable with acknowledging. Nothing is certain, nothing is constant. But we still have to try for goodness. And you, my husband, do have goodness in you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You've done things to survive and you've done things to establish power. You came from practically nothing, but built yourself up. You are a good husband, a good father, and you've done so much for the Jewish community."

Eliana removed her arms from him and edged around to face him. She was going to just position herself in front of him, but he took her in his arms and put her sideways in his lap. He nestled his head on her chest and she stroked his hair. Her feminine energy and her calm demeanor brought him further peace.

Alfie always thought she was the stronger of the two of them. He'd seen her cry only a handful of times in the nine years they had been married. And at least two of those times was because a family member had died.

He knew he could trust her completely, the woman was a steel trap. If he told her a secret it never left her lips. The only thing he wished he could have from her was to know about her past. But she never spoke of it. He only knew her mother died when she was young and she was pretty much raised as a boy.

Her family consisted of her father and three brothers so they didn't know how to raise a girl. A few times Alfie was able to get some information from her brother, Dov. Eliana and her brothers had been part of a Jewish rebel group that fought against the Soviet Government. He knew she had shot and killed Soviets only because Dov spoke of a few stories for him when Dov was drunk.

And in all honesty, Alfie was a little jealous of Eliana. She had a loving father and supportive brothers. He'd wished his father had been more present or had actually given a damn. He had no siblings that he could turn to either. He had always wanted brothers and in the same envious notion, he was jealous of Thomas Shelby for that too.

"I fuckin' love you, El." he mumbled in her chest.

"I love you too, Alfie," she said.

The door to their bedroom eased opened and two little pale faces peered inside.

"Mama? We heard a shout...is there a ghost in the house?" Daniel asked.

Eliana patted the mattress and the twins ran over and jumped up on the bed with their parents.

"Sorry, my sons. Papa had a bad dream, afraid that was me, not a ghost." Alfie said.

"Awwww, I wanted a ghost to be in the house," Ezekiel whined.

Alfie chuckled. His sons were his pride and joy. Although they had Eliana's dark blonde hair, they very much were beginning to look more and more like Alfie as they grew up. Alfie loved both of his sons dearly, but he could already see that Ezekiel would be mentally strong and a force to reckon with. While Daniel was more emotional and could be sensitive at times. He worried that while Ezekiel would take to the family business rather well, Daniel might struggle with the brutality side of the business.

Eliana had shifted from Alfie's lap to the bed and now held Ezekiel in her lap. Ezekiel was pretty independent, but he was still a Mama's boy. While Daniel nestled up to Alfie, he was a Papa's boy indeed. Alfie wrapped his arm around Daniel and with the other ruffled his son's hair.

"You ain't afraid of a ghost are ya?" He teased Daniel.

"No...no, I'm not!" Daniel protested.

But his tiny, shaky voice said otherwise.

"I'm not Papa! Besides, the ghost was just you. We aren't afraid of you!" Ezekiel said.

As Ezekiel said this, Daniel wrapped his father in a big hug. A combination of Ezekiel's kind words and Daniel's loving hug pulled at Alfie's heart strings and his eyes began to tear up. Eliana could see this, but the boy's eyes were closed as they rested with their parents. She reached out her hand and stroked her husband's cheek.

"You see, you do have goodness in you."