Benefits • Barney Stinson

Part 16

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while enjoy:)

😚

Ted and Stella are engaged. That's good. That's has to be good.

Marshall- still unemployed. And he has trouble to cope with it. In the level where he calls me twice in the same minute.

Lily- threw herself into her painting.

Barney- rehabilitating from his bus accident. Which was going on pretty well.

Robin- continued to uphold the high journalistic standards of Metro news 1. But not really.

And me- going crazy about my feelings and about my job, who I feel like I can't do anymore.

We were all siting around the booth when Robin informed us she hated her job. "You're the boogeyman with teleprompter." I said, without thinking but Robin agreed with me.

Barney started laughing at my comment. "That's hilarious! Great joke."

"Barney, no offense to Aria, but that wasn't that funny." Lily said.

" are you kidding? That was a great joke. It's smart funny beautiful it's the whole package. It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want." I looked at him, confused. "In a joke." He finished.

The next day, I sat at work when Robin called me. "Hey." I answered.

"What are you doing?" She asked me.

"Just... well, nothing basically."

"We have a job opening here. I recommend you."

"Really? What is it?"

"It's a photographer."

I chuckled. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. You have an interview tomorrow morning."

"Oh my god. Thanks, Robin."

"No problem." I hung the phone and hugged my phone on my chest.

My phone rang and Barney's name came up. "Hey, B." I said.

All I heard was a high pitch noise and then a beep. That was weird.

I dialed his number again. "Aria, great to hear from you. To what do I own the pleasure?" He answered.

I rolled my eyes, "You called me, Barney. What do you want?"

He chuckled. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine."

"Um... at what age did you first get your period?"

My eyes widened. "Did you just ask me about my period?"

"No, I did not."

"Look, Barney, I'm at work right now."

"Um, Aria, I was wondering if... nothing. Gotta go. Bye." He hung up.

That was the weirdest conversation.

What are you doing? I texted Lily.

Oh, umm. Not much. We're going out for dinner tonight. The whole gang. See you then.

Okay, sure.

The waiter at the restaurant sat me at our table, I was the first to arrive, and I looked through the menu.

Barney came in and sat across me. "Hey." I said, smiling at him.

"What's up?"
We ordered wine and then he began to talk. "So, Aria, tell me about your day, and not just what happened, how you felt about what happened."

I laughed. "What?"

" i'm not looking to problem solve I'm just looking to listen." He lifted his glass up and I tossed it.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"You're being super nice. It's freaking me out. Be gross, be inappropriate. Be Barney."

"I'm being Barney, and I think tonight's gonna be de... wait for it... lightful. Delightful."

"Right. Hey, so I went to the chiropractor yesterday. That guy bend me over the table and pounded me for a good hour." I joked and looked at him.

He didn't flinch. "Is insurance gonna cover that? Sometimes they don't."

"That's it? Okay. Well, today I was at the dentist. That guy drilled me all day long. He drilled me hard. He filled all of my cavities. Come on, man!" I said, waiting for his reaction.

"Well, your teeth look fantastic."

"Who are you!"

The waitress came, and poured more wine into Barney's glass. She bend down, shoving her boobs into Barney's face. But he just moved his head and looked at me.

"Nothing? Not even a glance?" I asked him confused. " I mean even I was thinking about working and what about on those bad boys. What the hell is wrong with you Barney?"

He sighed. "I don't always want to be that guy. Sometimes I want to be someone you can have an actual conversation with. Now, tell me something about you that I don't know yet."

"You know everything about me." I said, laughing.

"Seriously, Aria."

"Okay. Robin got me this interview in her news. But the job is too good to he true. So I bailed."

"What?"

"It's just... it's higher payment than I ever got in my life. And it's a real job camera. I don't know, I just feel like I'm gonna make a joke out of myself."

"You're more than that. We both know that." I smiled at him. "Call Robin to get you another interview. Promise me you'll do that."

"Barney, it's not that..."

"Promise me." He cut me off.

"Fine. I promise."

He toasted his glass with me. And then looked at me. "You know, there is something I wanna talk to you about."

"Okay."

"Last call?" The bartender asked.

"Sure. One more for the road?" Barney asked me.

"Why not? Hold that thought?" I got up and walked to the toilets, but not really.

I took our waitress with me back to Barney. "So here's the deal..."

"April, have you met Barney?" I cut him off, introducing the waitress.

"Hi, Barney." She said.

"Hello."

"April just finished her shift, and she's looking to blow off some steam." I said.

"Ah. Would you excuse us for one second?" He walked aside and I followed him. "What are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"Well, you were so nice to me tonight, I wanted to return a favor, wingwoman style." I turned back to April. "So, as I was saying, April, Barney is the Yankees' new second baseman. And Barney, April asked if tomorrow, you could hit a goal for her during the baseball match. You can't make this stuff up."

Barney chuckled. "So, you two kids have fun." I grabbed my purse and smiled to Barney before I walked out of the restaurant.

The way he smiles. Just kill me now, please.