f i f t y

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July 20th 4:01am
So the sun is about to come up soon and I know I'm not getting a good morning message from you. I stayed up all night remembering those seductive messages and sweet thoughts. I'm too lazy to romanticise this goodbye with pretty words and trailing ellipses. I waited a year hoping that you'd come back. I guess you're too busy with better people and a brighter world. They all said to "just say goodbye." They never knew that it wasn't that easy. I know you've moved on, so I'm sorry for holding on to little pieces of you to keep what we had alive. I'm greedy I suppose. Now; here I am, giving back everything. Deleting messages and waiting for a sunshine. For now, this will be the last thing I write to you. I know I'll miss you for a long time. I guess it's about time I leave our memories behind. I hope they all see the brilliant parts of you, I hope they realise what a gift you are. We never forget our first love, but our first love isn't our only. I'm so fucking thankful to have had you in my life. Yet, this is it. This is my goodbye. If you ever wonder about me, I'll finally be doing okay:
Thank you for showing me love.
Thank you for showing me pain.
I don't need you anymore.
Goodbye.
July 20th 4:32am

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