This is Going to End in Disaster

"Bee wants to pollinate if you catch my drift."

Third smut chapter in a row. I didn't plan for that to happen, but I guess that's life.

Also, I decided Wade gets his teleporter on his suit because I need it for plot reasons. That's all. Enjoy!

 

"This sucks," Wade groaned, laying across the big fancy briefing table in Avengers tower.

It was for their monthly check-in with all the members to see how things were going and if there were problems cropping up that everyone should be on the lookout for.

Wade could've easily checked in over the phone, but they preferred he came for a face-to-face meeting so they "could see for themselves" that he wasn't getting into trouble. Normally, Wade would be giving them the giant middle finger, but it so happens that he needed something to do today, and annoying his fellow teammates always made him feel better.

"What sucks?" Hawkeye asked across from him, fiddling with an arrow because the author is a basic bitch and doesn't have the imagination to write him doing anything else.

"People should read your comics more," Wade sighed. "All you ever do is 'fiddle with your arrows.' It's like you don't have a personality at all."

Clint scowled and set the arrow down. "I have personality."

"Well, I know that, but some people are too lazy to put the work in."

He sighed, already deciding that this was a conversation he wasn't going to understand. "So, what sucks exactly?"

"Peter Parker."

LITERALLY!

Clint grunted, prying the tip of the arrow off and examining a trigger switch inside. It looks like one of his exploding arrows. "From Parker Industries? The — uh... webware guy? What's got you so twisted about him?"

Wade sighed, turning over to theatrically splay across the table, " Everything . I'm supposed to be digging up information on him, but he's got an annoying habit of being nice. Don't you hate it when people do that?"

Clint dissected the length of the arrow, following a few wires through the shaft, screwdriver hanging out of his mouth. His eyebrows came together, "Is this a mission or a side job? Are you supposed to be looking into this guy? I know Tony has a thorn in his side about him, but he's never blipped on anyone's radar before."

"Side gig. Gotta have something to do while we're not saving the world from ruin and evil and all of that jazz," Wade waved his hand nonsensically. "And Tony doesn't know because it's none of his business."

Clint was still frowning, "You're not getting into something you're not supposed to, are you?"

"Oh ye of little faith," Wade placed an offended hand over his heart. "It's nothing extreme-"

At the moment. No promises later.

" I'm doing some reconnaissance and making sure he's as much of a saint as I hear."

"Who's been telling you that guy is a saint? There are rarely guys that rich who are."

"Ha! Tony's gonna feel that one in the morning."

Clint shrugged, "It's true. Even Tony has a checkered past. He's not perfect."

"Ugh, Peter Parker may as well be." Wade plopped his head in one hand hand, playing with the disregarded shaft of the arrow with the other. "Do you know how many charities he has around the world? Dozens! He pays all his employees well above the minimum wage, even the janitors and maintenance crew. His company is one of the most diverse in the area, minus Tony's maybe . He funds the FEAST center, which is a homeless shelter by the way. And every time he walks around the city, he always stops and gives money to the homeless that he comes across. He created the Uncle Ben Foundation based on his dead uncle and uses it to help people in the world struggling with resources and natural disasters. The guy is a walking saint, Clint. I hate it."