This is Going to End in Disaster

"That's not Parker."

For a moment, Wade didn't know where he was.

It took him a minute to piece together how he'd gotten there and what he'd down last night. Not because he'd been drunk and had no immediate memories. He had plenty of those, believe him .

No, he was confused because he was in Peter Parker's room, in Peter Parker's bed, and he wasn't sure why. Next to him, Spider-Man was fast asleep, bare naked - minus the mask covering half of his face.

It was still dark, meaning the sun wasn't up, but dawn was approaching fast enough that he could still make out the room. He stared up at the ceiling, then at the clutter around him, unchanged since the last time he'd been here.

Spider-Man wants some nookie and the first place he takes you is his BOSS'S room. Either he's got the chillest boss EVER, or he's trying to stick it to Parker.

Do you think they had a falling out? Did he only sleep with you to make Parker jealous?

You know what? Yeah, that makes sense. He knows its tense between you and Parker, sleeping with you is the perfect revenge.

Wade's face pinched and he looked over at the other man, searching his bare skin like it might reveal an underlying motive.

But that logic didn't click for him. Spider-Man had nothing but confidence that Parker was good, and he never hinted towards animosity. Hell, he was the one who wanted to prove to Wade that Parker wasn't a bad guy.

Soooo...fucking you in his bed proves he's not a bad guy? That doesn't prove anything other than that Peter Parker is, at the very least, a CONSIDERATE scumbag.

The inclination sits wrong on Wade's chest and makes him want to squirm, but he doesn't want to wake up Spider-Man. He doesn't want a confrontation yet. Not until he can get his thoughts in order.

Good luck with that.

Or, another voice continues eagerly, maybe this was just the first place he thought to take you because he and Parker get funky in here all the time. He wouldn't take you to his REAL apartment because that might give away something about is identity.

Wade liked that explanation better. Spider-Man not trusting him with his identity felt more familiar than using him as a fucktoy to get back at his boss. If he had been aware of a plan involving fucking Spider-Man to piss off his boss, he would've happily joined; he just wanted to be in on the scheme, not an accessory.

But we're so good at being an accessory!

Besides, he still wasn't sure where he stood with Peter Parker. He had doubts that Parker was as bad as he was being led to believe. His contact said he would get proof so long as he was patient, and Wade has been patient. In his own way.

Carefully, he climbed out of bed and sought out one of his pouches that had been tossed on the floor the moment they teleported inside. He scrounged through it until he found his phone.

His work phone.

Like an omen from the heavens – or maybe hell - a message sat in his inbox from his client.

"Good job distracting Spider-Man. Now, if you want proof that Parker's corrupt, head down to the sub levels of Parker Industries. Bad things happen throughout the night and early mornings. You'll find evidence there."

Wade shot a look at Spider-Man, like reading those words might rouse him from sleep so he could argue with Wade about snooping and the morality of Parker.

Hey, are we ever going to tell him that we fucked Parker twice?

Oh SHIT, what if Parker was only fucking us to get to SPIDEY? Is that why Webhead made a move? Because he was getting back at his boss for sleeping with us by SLEEPING WITH US?