I did it I finally told someone about the abuse I was going through, he helped me and he supported me the hole time, he is a good friend but I'm starting to think other wise. Yes he helped me out of something that maybe could of drove me to suicide if I waited any longer to stop this but, I feel like we grown distant from each other, I would never tell him this directly but it's the truth, and the other day at school I saw him stealing from me, it was some paper from my drawing book and he gave them to some girls in the class, and I understand it's petty to get mad at someone for taking some paper out of my book but I hate people stealing from me. And I makes me fell like I'm not valued as a person and I'm just being used again like I was before in the past for years and I never understand why.
I saw him (step dad) as a father figure when my real dad was never there for me or my younger brother, i love him as if he was my real dad. And now I'm not even sure how to see him as. I trusted him with my life, and I knew he treated me and my brother as we were his own kids, he loved us like we were his own, now I scared to be near him, he betrayed my trust, he took advancing over my trust and the fact my mom felt us in his care a lot because of her having 2 jobs, and he knew very well the same thing happened to me years ago because HE WAS THERE TO HELP ME,
I did try to do self harm, I even had the knife in my hand but some thing Had stop me from doing it, I didn't know what was stopping me from doing it. My life was already shit and I at this point I was at my lowest point in my life and I just wanted to die, i kinda hoped I stabbed the knife in my head so I wouldn't have to suffer so much, lying to my friends and my therapist saying I was fine and I was doing just fine, I'm not even sure if I want to live anymore at this point.
