Promises

Friends?

Tired? I know I am ...not of the blood sweat and tears but of the bull shit lies and fears. Tired of the secrets you told me but never actually trusted me with tired of the things you said to lift me up and yet you continue to bring me down everyday TIRED of hearing only about you cause you surely never talk about me you never talk about we u never talk about she or he just you. The conceded better yet arrogance that you show to build yourself up isn't good. You claim you can't find love but the only thing your Doing is pushing it away because all the ones that wanted to stay you say they didn't love you anyway when in reality they were the ones who were there for you. I know you've been through a lot, a lot more than me but when u look in the mirror do you see what I see. Just cause your "pretty" it's not going to help you in fact it's gonna hurt you, you Toss and turn every night can't sleep because you trying to fight trying not to give in when all you want to is begin again go back to the start and make it fresh so that it's not as bad as it is now but how will you succeed in this journey we call "life" the so called "life" that's full of bull shit well you have showed me the bullshit that you speak of and I don't think you mean to but it hurt me and I'm sorry but when you desert me I actually think I'll be a little happy. Not as happy as your other close "friend" the one who you claim is your ride or die because you've been through a lot but if it wasn't for me you wouldn't still have her she would have left intact she almost did but I played the peacemaker and helped you because I'm your friend. I write this flood of words because of the flood of emotions I feel because of my treatment that I deal with, the bullying disguised as jokes the hits that "don't hurt" but one day I'll get really tired and you'll see, just the monster you've made of me.