The Trail to Your Gazes | Sunsunki

Chapter 13

"Someone's here for you!" Niki's mother called out from the first floor. After asking who it was and his mother not answering, Niki decided to head downstairs and find out for himself.  Once he descended from the stairs and got a glimpse of who was in their entryway, his heart sank.

"Hey, Sunoo. What are you doing here?" 

Hey never comes over unless something is wrong, Niki thought.  

"Can I talk to you outside?" 

"We can go to my room if you want. It's kind of cold outside." 

"That's okay, I prefer the fresh air." 

Before they left, Niki ran to his room and grabbed the largest hoodie he could find for Sunoo and the second largest for himself. As he was leaving his room, he took a look at himself in the mirror, quickly fixed his hair, and sprayed cologne on both hoodies. "Coming!" Niki yelled to Sunoo. Once they entered his backyard, it was clear that the air between them was tense. Neither felt upset with the other; rather, they both had many things they wanted to say but were unable to. 

"Is everything okay?" Niki finally asked. 

"Yeah, everything's fine. How about you? How have you been?" 

"You make it seem like we haven't seen each other in years," Niki said laughingly, attempting to lighten the mood. 

"I don't know things have been weird between us." 

"Weird how?" 

"Ever since the dance class, I feel like things have been weird. I can't tell what you're thinking." 

"Oh. Yeah, dance class was weird," Niki said. 

I'm just gonna say it, Sunoo thought. 

"I'm dating Sunghoon." 

Niki's heart immediately stopped and his cheeks flushed. The hair's on his arms standing up.

"What?"

"Sunghoon and I decided to start officially dating." 

"Oh." 

"Are you okay?" 

Niki stayed silent. Knowingly unable to respond without screaming at Sunoo or sobbing. 

"Niki?" 

"Please leave." Niki whimpered. 

"What?" 

"Leave."

"Wait, no. I want us to talk." 

"You already said what you wanted to say so leave." 

"No. I don't want things to end like this. Why are you so upset?" 

"Why am I upset? As if you don't know. Why are you here then? To rub it in my face that you're in love with someone else? What do you want me to do? Congratulate you?" 

"Of course not! I just- I wanted to tell you because..." 

"You know I'm in love with you right. Have been for months. You may think I'm an idiot but I knew you liked Sunghoon the second we saw him on the ice rink. But I kept convincing myself that if I loved you enough then one day you would see it and maybe love me too." 

Sunoo stayed silent, watching Niki cry. 

"Tell me honestly. Have you ever thought about me in the same way as Sunghoon?" 

"You're Niki. My best friend, that's how I've always thought of you," Sunoo replied. 

"All those times, I bought you flowers, been there for you when you were upset, and let you come over in the middle of the night just so you wouldn't feel lonely on the weekends... It was for nothing?" 

"Of course, they weren't for nothing! I love you too. Just not in the same way you do. I don't want to lose you, Niki. That's why you're the first person I told. I didn't have the heart to let you find out from someone else or to see us...in the hallways. I don't want us to be strangers. I love you. Please." 

"I need time." 

"And I understand that completely. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I wouldn't be half as happy as I am now without you."

They stayed in silence for a while. 

It's getting late, you should go." Niki said while wiping the tears falling down his face. 

Sunoo thought of hugging Niki before he left but thought better of it. Deep down, he knew this would be the last time they spoke for months. 

"I love you. Take all the time you need." Sunoo said before leaving. While Niki stayed in his backyard, staring at the night sky and crying into his hoodie. 

One hour later...

Sunghoon☺️

Hey. I know it's late but can I come over? 

Of course. My parents are asleep though so text me when you're here and I'll meet you outside. 

Okay, see you soon. 

See you.   

Once he got the notification that Sunoo had arrived, Sunghoon practically raced down the stairs in excitement. But when he looked out the window and saw the redness in his eyes, he knew Sunoo needed him. Instead of saying anything, he took Sunoo into a deep hug and patted his back. "It's okay. It's okay." He repeated as Sunoo cried into his shoulder.

 After what felt like 20 minutes of hugging, Sunghoon cupped Sunoo's face into his hands and asked "did you talk to Niki?" Too upset to reply, Sunoo nodded his head and rested it on Sunghoon's shoulder. 

"It's okay. Come in." 

After arriving at his room, Sunghoon grabbed extra pillows and blankets for Sunoo and ordered Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream online. 

"You can stay here tonight. Do your parents know you're out?"

 Sunoo nodded and said, "they're out of town and have my location." 

Sunghoon crawled inside the bed with Sunoo and embraced him. "Is Niki going to be okay?" 

"He said he needed time." 

"Okay, that's not too bad. And are you sure you don't want me to wait? We can wait to be together. It'll be hard but Niki is important too-" 

"No, I need you now." 

"I need you too," Sunghoon replied as they kissed each other before falling asleep. 

Though they were affected by Niki's heartbreak in different ways, they dreamt of a life with each other. Along with many nights, such as this one, in which they would rely on each other to heal their wounds and where they knew their love would be enough to sustain them.