The beginning of the end

Anything bad that ever happens always has an event, a moment that triggers all the terrible things that follow. In one instance, everything you had or loved can go away just by making one mistake. You have no one to hold, no one to vent to, no one to hug in your rough times. To be honest no one even care that you are having those rough times, and that's what happened to me.

It was Saturday morning. Another day with another problems. But this time it was different. I woke up at around seven after my unsuccessful suicide attempt with my head flooded with thoughts. Why am I here? Why am I alive? I wanna die. Kill me. Please end my suffering I cannot. I can't do this. Those thoughts were nothing new, but still it felt like a completely new thing to me. Those thoughts I had were making it even harder for me to get up from my bed and start my day. Maybe they were a sign that I should stay and nothing would happen, but I can't change it because I did get up and I was the biggest mistake of my life.

As I woke up with those thoughts, I grabbed my phone and started to scroll through TikTok's to make myself to forget about it but it wasn't working because my TikTok is full of depressive things, and to be honest it made me feel like a piece of shit even more. The only thing that helped at this point was the thought of me going out with my girlfriend Chloe. She was the sweetest person that I've ever met. Her ocean blue eyes, Her smile, Her hair. Just the person everyone can dream of. She was just perfect. I still don't get it why she choose me out of millions hot girls. I'm just an average girl with a boring life. Well okay maybe not that boring coz my life is like a roller Coster. Sometimes I'm fine and the other times I feel like I'm dying. As I was thinking about her, I finally got up and I started to get ready. First thing I was struggling with was what am I gonna wear. As I was going through my closet and looking for something my girlfriend called me. I quicky ren to pick up. First thing I heard was "Goodmorning baby hope you had sweet dreams. I can't wait to see you" I giggled and responded with a few words "Goodmorning babe I can't wait to see you too I love you" She said "aww I love you too I'm going to get ready" "Same here I love you bye bye " I said and hanged up. I got back to my closet after I put my phone back on a charger because I have a memory of a gold fish and I forgot to charge it. I was back Infront of my closet trying to decide what to wear, but then I saw my black and purple flannel, so I decided to wear it with my black shirt, black jeans and pair of my converse. It was a perfect outfit for a perfect date. I took the clothes out of my closet and I threw them on my bed. Then I had another problem what accessories should I wear with it, Luckly I wasn't deciding for too long and I eventually choose my favorite chain and six rings. I was satisfied with my outfit. I took of my pyjamas and I put on my outfit. "It's awesome" I said to myself. I have not been satisfied with my outfit like this for so long. I continued to stare at myself in the mirror. After another minute of me just staring and doing nothing I realized that I'm running late. I grabbed my phone and my wallet and I quicky ren out of my house. Chloe was already there waiting for me in her expensive car.

I smiled at her and walked towards her car. I was so excited to see her after so long. I slowly opened the car and I jumped in. First thing I did was giving her big passionate kiss and long hug. It felt so good to be kissing with her almost after three months. She was in Spain because of her job. She works as doctor without borders so she has to travel a lot. She kissed me back but this time it felt different. I didn't know why so I decide not to overthink about it much. She started the engine and we left. We decided to have movie night and visit movie theater. On our way there we stopped at Starbucks to grab a coffee. I got caramel Frappuccino and my girlfriend didn't allow me to pay for my drink so she paid for it. It was delicious. We continued our ride to a movie theater and we were vibing to our song from girl in red. Song was blasting at the highest volume and because of this we almost got into an accident, but we managed to avoid it somehow. When we got there, we had quick make out sesh. It felt awesome. We got out of the car and we walked inside of the movie theater while holding hands. We had to wait in a waiting line because it was crowded but after all we bought the tickets for a latest movie called Kiss me if you dare. It was romantic movie. Then we had to wait in the waiting line again because we wanted to have some snacks as well. We bought tacos and cola. As we were waiting till the movie will start Chloe got really weird call. She was calling with someone who I didn't know. She answered and said two sentences. "Hii I'm at the movie theater I'll call you later. See you soon." I had really weird feeling about it because she said it in really sweet voice. I asked her "who called you?" Chloe responded "just my mom". I said "oh okay" although I had a feeling she was lying. I decided to let it go and enjoy the movie. When movie started Chloe put my hand around me and I calmed myself down and I started to believe her. Well, I am an overthinker and my girlfriend is honest and loyal. She wouldn't cheat on me. When there was first romantic and kind of spicy part in the movie we started kissing. I know maybe you are thinking that this is like a movie and only thing I can say is yes, it was like a dream. For the rest of the movie, we cuddled and we had really good time together. When the movie ended, we took our stuff and we headed to Chloes car. Again, we were holding our hands. To be honest when we started to date, I was so scared to kiss her or hold her hand in public coz I was scared of what other people will think of me but as time passed, I learned that I have to enjoy every good moment, and problem is that I don't have many of those because of my mental problems. Well, I'm battling with depression for a long time. It's like that one annoying friend you don't want to be around. As we got to our car, and Chloe started the engine I said "Thank you for today I loved it." Chloe smiled and replied "for you everything babe." But those words were just words without meaning. Well, they had meaning back then but You'll see why I told you that they didn't have the meaning. As we left the parking lot Chloe got a message from a girl she used to date. I didn't make a big deal out of it and I just said to Chloe "LOL your Ex is texting you can I read it for you?" I expected different responded but okay she told me "Not now babe later you can" I said "okay". I was thinking about it for a bit because it was really weird response that I did not expect but whatever Luckily, I forgot about it in less than five minutes. Our ride didn't take too long because I literally live ten minutes away from the center of the city. Chloe drove me home. I thanked for everything again and I kissed her. Then I got out of her car and walked in front of my house. I unlocked the front doors and I got inside. I wasn't tired so I decided to call my very best friend Josephine if she wants to hang out for a bit. I took out my phone from the small pocket in my jeans. I dialed Josephines number. I was waiting for a bit till she picked up. First think I heard was "Hi Skylar is everything alright?" Josephine asked me with curious voice. I quickly responded without hesitation "yeah I'm good I just wanted to say if you wanna hang out." "Yes, I was waiting for you to call me to be honest. Where and when do you wanna meet?" Josephine stated. I gave her short respond "at 7pm in front of the train station see Ya there bye" Josephine agreed and hanged up. I still had 30 minutes before meeting her so I decided to eat something. I made myself a salad. It was the best one I've ever made in my entire life. While I was eating, I was watching my favorite youtubers Sam and Colby. I love them. Those thirty minutes felt like a few seconds but I knew that I got to go because Josephine will be waiting for me. I was already dressed because I went on a date and I did not change my outfit.