it's been a while, hasn't it?

three.

there are times like these that he didn't appreciate how quiet his dorm room is without his roommate. hoshiumi went home to his parents just this morning as they were officially off season. meanwhile kageyama decided to head back to miyagi the next day.

the soft mattress felt comfortable and yet he didn't really like how there's nothing his mind could use as a diversion from feeling empty. exhaling harshly, he raised his phone up to scroll through his social media, attempting to not let his thoughts run wild.

kageyama didn't really do much social media; he was basically forced to make one by the rest of the karasuno alumnis so they could keep contacts with him easily.

one thing that he found interesting in having a social media account though, is being able to see how everyone is without directly messaging them. the pictures of them smiling and doing their own thing was enough for him.

his fingers halted after scrolling for a few minutes, his eyes widened as he seemed to forget to breathe as a bright smile seemed to have knocked all the air from his lungs. he lifted his other hand, as if trying to touch the person through the screen.

it seemed like time stopped for a moment. kageyama was motionless, his fingers trembling as he tried to trace the smile visible from the picture that is on his screen. after what seemed like forever, he clicked his phone off and rested an arm over his face.

soon after, he let out yet another sigh, biting down his lip after.

"be well."

he says as he turns his back to the boy who's given his dark world color. he clenched his fist tight as if trying to hold onto his resolve; telling himself that he's doing this for the right reason.

every lift of his feet taking steps farther away from hinata felt like he's walking through fire. his skin prickled in pain, his heart throbbed excruciatingly; he couldn't breathe and was on the verge of collapsing.

tighter.

he held his hand into a fist, so tight that his nails began digging into his palms. he could still hear hinata asking why; a question he knew he couldn't answer. and so, he continued, walking away, eyes on the floor; throwing away every single desire to hold him, to beg him for forgiveness or to tell him the words he truly wanted to say. instead, he bit down on his lower lip as tears began to form in his eyes.

just a little bit more.

the doors leading out of the gymnasium and into the bathroom were almost there, he just needed to hold it in a little longer.

"don't go."

his eyes shot open wide. hinata asked him not to go, he almost staggered as he halted at the last step. hinata's voice echoed inside his head, his ears ringing rather tortuously. a sob escaped his lips and he immediately brought a hand to his lips.

and he turned the door knob, closing the door behind him, locking it hurriedly. he locked it so no one would see how he desperately clung to the door as he tried to calm the uncontrollable sobs that rocked his body.

bokuto was rather elated as he looked at his phone with a father-like smile. "isn't this quite a happy picture?" he says, leaning over to show akaashi the picture he posted on his social media. akaashi agrees, chuckling at the photo of hinata grinning as his face was squished against bokuto's. he kisses bokuto's cheek before walking away, preparing to set up the dinner table. bokuto put the phone back into his pocket and returned to look at the soup that he was cooking. "oi, tsumu! you better help out preparing the table since i'll be feeding you tonight."