My agent

Mend

It had been almost a month now. Katya had to reach out to some friends because she couldn't take care of herself and her place properly. She was devoid of any emotion or will, following the routine of sleeping eating and taking a shower. Her good friend Amy pushed her to go back to work, to go out of her apartment and see other people. Katya more than reluctantly did, only for a few hours at first and she slowly began doing full days again.

Katya still had no idea where Trixie was, what she was doing and most importantly if she thought about her. She got an answer to her questions when she saw a TV host promote his late night show with Trixie Mattel as a guest. Katya was in disbelief, but she made sure to be on time and watch the blonde. And there she was, beautiful as always, prettily smiling and wearing a nice dress Katya had never seen before. Only hearing her voice and seeing her brought Katya to tears. After a few questions on her sudden break from social media, the host asked something that had Katya turning up the volume to be sure to hear Trixie's answer right.

"So, what about your girlfriend? Are you two still in a relationship?"
"No, we broke up, but we're on good terms. She made an unintentional mistake and I need to move forward now" Trixie said calmly.

Katya felt tears run down her cheek as her eyes stayed glued on the screen. She didn't turn off the TV until the end of the interview, and learned that Trixie was now an independent artist working on a new album. Katya's heart shredded to pieces as she realized how different her feelings for Trixie were compared to what the younger girl felt for her. Katya was truly in love, the kind of love that makes you feel alive or kills you. To Trixie it seemed like it was a passing relationship which could end without much consequences.

Katya cried, maybe for the longest time she ever did, and had to call Amy when her nose started bleeding a lot from the constant blowing. At least now she knew, she knew not to expect anything from Trixie. She could stop dreaming about her coming back home, calling Katya out of nowhere or sending her a letter. It hurt to be disregarded this much, that she had to learn the relationship was over on TV. Trixie stripped Katya of her dignity, and she thought this was some kind of revenge, because Trixie's dignity suffered too.

Katya got used to her new life day by day. There was not so much happy moments, but at least she wasn't moping around like before. She even decided to go to the release party of a fellow agent's artist's first album. Katya hadn't put on a pretty dress and makeup in so long, and it felt good to look beautiful. She drove to the party hall and smoked a cigarette before entering. She greeted her friends and acquaintances and ordered a virgin cocktail from the bartender. Like fate was playing with her Katya recognized Trixie in the corner of the room speaking with a producer. It was a bit shocking to see her in real life after all this time, more than two months now, but Katya was over it. Not over loving Trixie or being confused about what happened, but Katya was tired of intense emotions. So she kept her unbothered attitude and leaned against the wall, looking around to hopefully see someone she could talk to. The artist sang 3 of her upcoming songs and then talked a bit with the guests. Katya stayed until then, however after that she got bored so she thanked the man who invited her, congratulated the singer and left. She lit a cigarette while walking down the sidewalk, scoffing about how non sense everything was. She threw the butt on the floor and stepped on it when she heard a voice call for her. Katya's mind worked overdrive to make the simple decision of turning around or keeping on walking.

"Katya!" Trixie called again. The older woman heard heels clacking on the floor and coming towards her. She inhaled and faced Trixie.
"Don't go" The girl said a bit out of breath.
"I'm not wasting more time on you" Katya harshly spat.
"Katya listen I was overwhelmed and afraid. I followed my instincts and hid away from the world to protect myself"
"Okay?" Katya replied bitterly.
"I know I probably hurt you but it wasn't intentional I wasn't thinking straight"
"Oh yeah you probably did. If you're done I'm going home I won't stay here any longer to hear you state the obvious." Katya said getting more and more pissed off.
"No please Katya I fucked up I'm sorry I regret all the things I've done in the past two months"
"I can understand having an irrational attitude because I can be like that myself. But you lied Trixie. You said you would put me on top of your career. Clearly you prefer saving face over having the mere respect to break up with me in person"
"I'm sorry... I was mad and blamed everything on you. It was dumb"
"It was more than dumb Trixie. You can't walk in people's lives, make them believe you're gonna stay forever and walk away with no explanation at the first hardship."
"I know... I wish I could go back in time and stay with you. Katya let's start over"
"You think I'm gonna fall back into your arms because you're sorry? You broke my trust. You have no idea of the mental and physical state I was in for weeks after you left." Katya said feeling her voice breaking. Trixie was standing a few feet away from her, looking like she was trying her hardest not to cry.
"I apologize for all the things I've put you through, you didn't deserve any of it and I was so selfish. I want to make sure you know that I'll never forgive myself for it, and if you're willing to take me back I'll mend your heart. I'm a mess without you even if I hide it well for the public" The blonde said with a small regretful voice.

Katya's heart was aching because the only thing she wanted to do was take Trixie in her arms, yet her mind was holding her back.

"I have no way of knowing you're not gonna leave me again. I doubt you've changed that much since you left" Katya replied looking down, she was unable to watch Trixie being so sad.
"I don't know what to say. I'll give you all the time you need to decide if you want to try again. I'm in love with you, I've always been, and I think I'll always be" Trixie wanted to say more but she started sobbing. She covered her face with her hands and turned around then walked away.

Katya was paralyzed by her mind telling her that running after Trixie could lead to more pain. However she would never recover from definitely cutting her out of her life. So Katya speed walked towards the blonde while tears finally escaped her eyes. Trixie faced her when she heard steps coming and they fell in each other's arms.

"I can't live without you" Katya mumbled gripping Trixie tightly.
"Me neither baby. I'll never ever give up on you"
The younger girl replied pushing Katya against her. They held onto each other tightly until they fully calmed down.

"Can we go to your place and talk? I want to explain everything properly" Trixie said.
Katya took her hand and kissed Trixie's cheek, then lead them to her car. They remained silent during the ride, and also while removing their makeup together. Katya lent Trixie a big t-shirt and they laid facing each other in the bed. The younger girl began telling how she felt and why she reacted the way she did. Trixie wasn't trying to justify anything, she only wanted to clarify what happened. Katya nodded and asked questions, she listened intently while admiring Trixie's face.

"Could you delete the sex videos of us? I think I'll feel safer" Trixie asked once she finished going over the things she needed to say.
"I already did a long time ago. We won't do it anymore unless you want to."
"I don't"
"Okay my love. I'm so tired come here" Katya mumbled with a yawn. She opened her arms and Trixie moved closer to her, feeling Katya's burning skin on her own. The younger blonde missed it so much.