one: motion sickness

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motion sickness- phoebe bridgers

i have emotional motion sickness

somebody roll the windows down

there are no words in the english language

i could scream to drown you out

****

Life. It's a fucken pain in the ass. Right when you think it's getting better shit hits the fan and you're sitting in a plane moving across the damn world to Australia for "a new start". Sure Nevada sucks but it's all I've ever known. Packing up all my shit isn't going to make me forget about the trauma, it isn't going to fix me, contrary to what my parents think.

2 weeks before

The silence in the room spoke volumes. Mom and dad never call family meetings unless it's extremely important. I stare at my sister who sits across me while she stares at her lap. I can tell she knows something I don't.

Finally, after minutes of uncomfortable silence, my father speaks up, "We called you in here to discuss a serious topic," he begins.

No shit Sherlock why else would we be here right now. "With what has happened these last few months," He glances at me, "Your mother and I decided it would be best for us to move from this city, you both deserve a new, fresh, start" He looks between me and my sister. Obviously, they would want to move. With everything that has happened in our small town, all attention has been on my and Cyrus' families. We can't even leave the house without getting weird stares.

"Thank god we're getting out of this hell hole," I start. "So are we going to go across the border to Cali or up north to Las Vegas? Oooo I've always wanted to live in the city!" I say, kind of liking the thought of moving, not too far though. Just far enough where I don't have people staring me down in the grocery store. I still want to see my only friend, Kaylyn, on the weekends hopefully.

"Actually," Mom speaks up for the first time since we've been sitting here. "We're umm, we're moving to Australia."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?" I ask, I don't believe the words coming out of her mouth. I start laughing, uncontrollably laughing. "What.. No, we aren't... that's a good one mom..!" I say between laughs. My parents keep a blank expression on their faces. I slowly stop laughing, I look at my sister, then back to my parents.

"This is a joke, right?"

"Honey," My dad softly speaks while reaching for my hand that is resting on the table. "My company has some offices over in Australia, they gave me a promotion with the opportunity of moving to the Sydney offices, I thought it was a perfect opportunity for us to get out of this place so I took their offer." He explains.

I stare blankly at him. "You what?" "Hun we just want what's best for you and we're gonna be far away from everything and-" My mother speaks up before I cut her off "What- When.. How long have you been keeping this from me?" I look between my parents and sister, did she know too?

"We've known for about 4 weeks now, we have already found a house in a nice neighborhood, the owner said that the neighborhood is walking distance from a lovely high school. I think you'll like it Evyn '' My dad explains, there is so much hope in his voice.

"When are we leaving?" I ask while staring at my sister. She still hasn't said a thing. She just keeps playing with her hands under the table.

"3 weeks from tomorrow" Mom states. "We bought some boxes, they're in the garage we're going to need you to start sorting your belongings, sell piles, donate piles and move piles," Mom explains.

It's all happening so fast, I was just told we're moving across the world to somewhere I've never been and she's already telling me to sort through my stuff.

"Did you know?" I ask so softly it's almost a whisper. "What?" Madelyn speaks with confusion laced in the one word. She looks up from her hands and at me for the first time since sitting here. "I said, 'Did you know'?" I repeat. "They- they never told me if umm.. If that's what you're wondering. I overheard them talking about it one night, I heard our names and I- i'm sorry I didn't tell you I just didn't know- I thought it would be too much for you. You've been dealing with a lot Ev and-" I cut her off by pushing my chair back standing up from the table.

I try to contain my emotions but as I walk to my room I can't stop my mind from racing with thoughts, I don't know why, I should be happy. Happy I'm getting far away from here. Happy I'm moving to Australia, somewhere I've always wanted to visit. Happy I'll have a new start. But a part of me doesn't want to leave. A part of me doesn't want to be that far from him.

As fucked up as he is I still somehow love him. I'm mad. I'm sad. I'm shocked. And for the first time in months, I cry.

Not pathetic single tears. But truly crying. I grab my pillow and scream into it. I let out all the emotion I've built up in the past few months out in that scream. I don't know why I'm crying so much, I just am. Like the news of leaving everything I've ever known behind just pushed me off an edge I didn't know I was on and now I'm falling into an endless deep dark pit hoping someone is there to catch me at the bottom.

Present-day

My body slowly starts becoming aware of my surroundings again, my head lays against cool glass. I reach for my phone and glance at it. The time reads 2:38 am but my phone's still on Pacific Standard timing so this isn't the true time. Still, in the 19 hours I've spent on this plane since boarding at 7 am, I've only slept for about 1 hour and 25 minutes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, We are preparing for landing, please head back to your seats and fasten your seat belts" The woman over the intercom announces.

It's night in Sydney, Australia. I look to my sister sitting next to me who is fastening her seatbelt already. I fasten mine and prepare myself for the turbulence that is to come with landing. A flight attendant's walking through the aisle towards our direction, "Excuse me miss," I wave her down. "Hello, ma'am what may I help you with?" The woman greets, with a sweet expression. "What time is it here? My phone is still set on my old timezone." I explain, "It is 9:39 pm," She says sweetly. "Thank you, that was all," I say, the woman smiles at me and continues walking to her destination as I change my timezone setting to Sydney, Australia.

Maybe this new start thing won't be too bad after all, maybe, just maybe, Australia has hope for me.

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AHH NEW STORYT!!! how we feeling?? sorry i never finished bloodline it just became a little to personal and i couldn't bring myself to finish it. bloodline was my first writing and i plotted it poorly. i have this entire story plotted out though and i'm so excited to share it with you guys. PLEASE REMEMBER THERE ARE EXTREMELY TRIGGERING TOPICS IN THIS STORY. i will put tw at the beginning of chapter that may trigger some of you. anyway i hope you guys enjoy. this is "it's nice to have a friend:)))!!"

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