Memories

Pt.17 I'm done

I didn't know what I was going to do when I faced everyone again. Maybe I could forgive them, maybe not. I felt like they didn't need it from me, especially not Eren.

Though I never said that I never wanted to see him again, he should've known. I don't know who would want to see a person like that after they've done something so bad.

When I woke up again, it was around ten at night. I sighed and took a shower anyways because I didn't want to deal with it in the morning.

As I looked at the time again, I saw all the missed calls and texts I got from the others. But I didn't want to talk; I just left them.

I turned the water on hot-hot, took down my hair, and my clothes. I ran my fingers through the soft strands, then saw the steam start to blur the mirror; my shower was ready.

I left my body adjust to the heat, which it did pretty quickly. I ran the water over my face to rinse away some of the makeup I'd had on. I turned slowly and winced as the hot water burned my back, but then it felt good. I wet my hair and turned to the shampoo which I slapped on my head and just ran my fingers through my hair.

I was too tired to be giving anything enough effort, which was a bad thing in some ways. But I didn't care. I grabbed my Ivory bar soap and dragged in over my body, following my loofah. I rinsed it all off and wrapped myself in my towel, I left my wet hair dangle.

Dragging my feet slowly, I made it back to my room. I slathered on my lotion and threw up my hair. I didn't feel like finding something comfortable to sleep in, so I put on my undergarments and snuggled myself into bed. I was so tired. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted my bed.

~

I purposely left my alarm off. When I woke up it was almost eleven in the morning. I was still going to school, I just didn't feel like getting up early to get there on time.

I showered again quickly and threw on a white dress shirt, tan pants, a dark green sweater and a few rings. I put my hair up in a clip and helped myself to a large bowl of cereal when I got downstairs.

My mom wasn't there. Maybe she was actually working again, maybe not. Maybe she was doing whatever she was doing before I remembered everything, it wasn't working back then, I knew that much. Her old job didn't let her get off until five, which somehow she was always off by the time I got home.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost eleven-thirty, if I walked I could get there before fifth period started.

I packed my bag and grabbed my house key then walked out the door. I played some music so at least I wasn't bored to death, it was kind of like a main character moment.

-

When I got there all eyes were on me. I just ignored everyone and made my way towards the back of the classroom. When the others tried to talk to me, I just told them to talk to me during lunch, I didn't feel like talking right now.

Today we weren't doing anything that important so I just grabbed my book and read as the teacher rambled on about what sounded just as pointless as someone trying to drink whiskey from a bottle of wine.

When lunch came around I was dreading it. Everyone probably knew that I remembered now and probably wanted to talk to me about it. I didn't want to; I didn't care. Honestly I didn't know why they did either, they didn't care a few days ago, so why should they now? Before, it was all 'oh let's pretend y/n had a super boring, safe life, rather than telling her the truth so we can keep her from making the same mistake again,' It didn't make sense to me, and that, I hated.