I'd choose you

7. Is he really that good?

"Dad" I mumble hearing my father sigh from the other line. I'm sitting on my office's floor, with my phone against my ear and my back against my desk.

It took me so long to call him, to dial his number and to actually press to start the call. It took me so long to stop crying and even deciding to grab my phone and call him, and it took me a while to leave Ethan's office because I knew that once I would've left his office I would've to call my father.

Instead I tried everything to stay away from my office as much as I could.I even left my phone there on purpose. I grabbed lunch with Amy, I spent time sitting with her, trying to catch up on everything, I said goodbye to the blonde  because she had to go home and then I had to walk in my office. Once the doors were locked I cried, so much I felt my cheeks drying and my mascara running down my cheeks.

I still have mascara down my cheeks, now it's dry but it's still there on my face, ruining everything.

"Hi buttercup" he says and I just want to cry again right now. His voice is raspy, he sounds tired, exhausted, maybe because of the chemo, or maybe he also cried because he was scared for me to call him. "How are you?" I ask, I'm genuinely curious to know how he feels, what's going on with him and his body and his brain.

"Not well, how are you?" he asks and I sigh. At least he is sincere. "I'm fine, I'm coming to New York in two weeks or so" I explained and I can hear his heavy breath through the call. It's weird to think that I am now on the phone with my father.

"How so?" he asks and I scoff. "For you dad, I wanna see how you're doing"

"You really wanna see me?" he asks and I know that his eyes brighten just by the tone of his voice. "Yes dad I do"I don't know if that's a lie.

"Are you bringing a special someone along with you?" he asks.

"Maybe" I admit and he chuckles, the problem is that once the chuckles turn into a small laugh it quickly turns into a long and excruciating cough. He apologizes and explains how the chemo has been messing him around.

I tell him that it's okay and that I just wanted to hear his voice again. Before closing our quick call I make sure to tell him that I cannot wait to see him.

But that's a lie

I mean not really.

But it kind of is, my inner child felt happy and satisfied to finally have another conversation with my father. It felt good to be called Buttercup even though it would be one of the last times in which I could listen to my father call me that.

I let myself fall on the floor with my white shirt out of my black jeans and my high heels and black blazer on the floor a few feet from me. My hair is down in waves and my head feels so good against my white fluffy carpet.

I hear a knock, which is weird because the floor is empty and it makes my blood freeze and my muscles stop completely. I just breathe heavily, not moving because I'm scared of who might be on the other side. I grab my phone from my side and check the time, 10:45pm, I sigh and slowly stand up, helping myself with the side of the desk.

My mascara is still running down my eyes and I'm glad I have glass doors to which I can only see the exterior but others can't see inside because it would've been embarrassing for them to see me like this.

I can just see a dark tall blurry figure out of my door. Once I'm in front of my door I try to understand who is outside but I just can't. It's too dark and the figure looks too blurry to be able to recognise it. Maybe this person wants to kill me. Maybe I'll die here, in the place I spend most of time in. Ethan would be happy if I died because that would mean that he gets the job.