The Heir to my Heart • Completed

xxviii. this is reality

Arthit languidly opens his eyes and blinks to adjust to the bright surroundings. Hospital. Arthit slumps more on his bed and heaves a loud sigh. 

His movement catches Knot's eyes and immediately helps him sit up and helps Arthit drink to parch his dry lips. 

"Are you feeling better now?"

Arthit slowly nods. "It's nothing... just tired from school, maybe."

Knot doesn't look like he believes him but he lets go of it. "Tutah and I didn't know what we'd do with you when we found you unconscious on the floor," Knot helps him again to drink and fixes the blanket over him. "Don't scare us like that again, I thought you'd..." Knot shakes his head because saying Arthit dying in his arms pains him so much. 

Arthit sighs to himself. He always worries his friends. "I'm sorry, it will not happen again. I'm sorry for the inconvenience and for worrying you. I don't... I'm sorry."

"Don't. Don't blame yourself, this is no one's fault. You're not an inconvenience to us but please take care of yourself more."

Arthit nods. "I'll try to."

"If anything, we should be apologizing to you, we weren't looking out for you so this happened."

Well, that makes Arthit feel more guilty. "I'm not your responsibility. I should be taking care of myself, not you. I was irresponsible. I did this to myself and I'm sorry."

"No, but we're your best friends. We should've known something was wrong with you," Knot squeezes his hand to stop their never-ending guilt-ridden apology to each other. "Tutah was more worried for you, he was panicking and crying earlier. We had to force him to leave you earlier so don't be shocked if he smothers you later. Don't be shocked."

Like Knot said, Tutah's going to smother him but that's an understatement because as soon as Tutah arrives from stress eating with Bright and Prem, he shouts, "Arthit!" And gathers Arthit in his arms, squeezing the life out of him. 

Arthit tries not to push Tutah from him even when he's close to blacking out again. He understands where Tutah is coming from, his worries, his fears, and his relief seeing Arthit awake. Tutah's the most suspicious to him, he's the one closest to knowing that Arthit's been lying to them. 

Fortunately, Prem sees Arthit's miserable state. "Hey, you're killing Arthit."

"I'm sorry..." Tutah finally let go of him. "Arthit, you're awake." Tutah's crying. 

"I'm okay. Don't cry. I'm fine. I was fine, too much school work."

Tutah shakes his head. "The doctor said it wasn't simple fatigue. He told us it could be because of your eating and sleeping habits and," Tutah sniffles. "We're lucky because nothing too serious happened but the doctor said it could be fatal if this continued and,"

Tutah reaches for Arthit's hands. "I'm sorry."

"Tutah, it's not-"

"I knew something's wrong. I saw the signs but ignored them because I thought you were fine. You're always saying you're fine and you're always laughing with us so I thought I just imagined things but I should've talked to you," Tutah squeezes his hands. "I shouldn't have settled with only asking you. I should've known better."

"It's not your fault. It's my fault that I let myself fall into this state. I'm sorry," Arthit looks up at his friends' worried expressions. "I'm sorry."

They gave him apologetic smiles as well and each gave him a soft hug.

"I wouldn't forgive myself if something serious happened to you. It was the longest hours of my life earlier, you weren't waking up and I thought... I was panicking so much... Arthit-"