Adventure's Past

Chapter 23 - Goh

"That is not Team Rocket."

Jessie's words echoed through Goh's head as he fervently continued researching everything about Ash and those Team Rocket members. He swiftly left Jessie, James, and Meowth, realizing they truly had listened to him years ago, and decided to leave their evil doings behind to start a life.

That didn't mean that Goh was going to be their friend in any way, though. He couldn't forgive them for the countless time they had tried to steal him and Ash's Pokemon, so he just left them to be and went right back to the Pokemon Center to gather his thoughts.

What if I just call my old friends? This question once again raced through his mind, but he ultimately leaned towards his intuition; his friends weren't going to help him find Ash, that was made clear. They would only try to get in his way.

But it was still hard to neglect his friends in such an abrupt and cold manner. He imagined how mad they were, but his guilt for them was quickly clouded by his anger and frustration with their attempts of trying to help him move on and borderline treating him with a pity that someone would do to a mentally unwell person.

Once he arrived at the Pokemon Center, which was empty in the lobby, he sat down and leaned his head back. Is what I'm doing really worth it at all? He asked himself, troubled. I mean, I could just go back and live my previous life; my life without Ash. The thought that Ash was gone forever disturbed him, but it was a realistic one.

I don't even have any way to find him, he told himself. I've only got some evidence that was found on that stupid burnt island. He felt bad about saying that, as he knew many Pokemon and potentially a person was hurt, but the lack of stuff to be found there was quite annoying. Not real members, the line repeated in his head again.

They're not real. You'll never find anything about Team Rocket with those guys. Jessie's voice persisted in Goh's head, filling it with pain and aching. Ash is gone! Forget about it! That was Chloe's voice right before she slapped him and walked away, not seeing her since.

You're in denial. Serena was the same way. Professor Cerise was so confident in his assumption; Goh was simply in denial about Ash all these years later that he refused to believe he was gone forever. Even Clemont, who experienced Ash's presence in the form of the journal, believed that Ash was supposed to be left behind.

Everyone's nagging voice filled him up, causing him to groan in pain. He had a horrible headache, and he felt somehow trapped in the spacious, empty lobby of the Pokemon Center. He yelled and ran outside, feeling the odd need to want to get out of the building and into the freezing cold, where snow was falling.

He ran out of the building, his breathing rapid. Goh had no idea what was happening, as he had never felt so trapped and at a crossroads before. With his heart pounding heavily, he looked around and saw that a few citizens were staring at him once he had run out of the building screaming.

The eyes upon him only worsened his condition, causing him to run through the streets and into the woods, where no one could see him panicking. His head was now throbbing in pain, and all the thoughts and worries he had about the world suddenly came crashing down onto him as he ran far beyond the sight of the Snowbelle City people.

After a few minutes of just running, trying to clear his head from the crowdedness of Snowbelle City, Goh stumbled out of exhaustion and fell face-first into the powdery snow; it entered his mouth and nose, causing him to roll over and stare at the small snowflakes flurrying down towards him from the murky sky.

Goh sat there, his arms at the side, as he recollected his thoughts. What am I doing? He asked himself once more. What am I even trying to accomplish? Of course, a part of him had the answer he'd been telling himself all along; that he was trying to find Ash despite everyone around him saying not to.