Random stuff

Rant(?)

I used to believe that people would always be there and help me get on my feet. That theory was proven wrong when I moved here to so called "paradise". Enrolling for school was easy but the challenges we have to overcome was greater. Scientists say we remember the bad things people say and the saying I remember most from elementary school was "Hah watch out for (my name) the loner!" I also remember a picture I had burned of the class but I was off to one side alone. I used to come home crying and saying how mean some people were. What I didn't know was they were taking advantage of me. That's something I wished I had noticed a long time ago. Sometime in December of 2014 or so, the person I thought who liked me back was dating someone. I felt useless and stupid because I was still liking him. I decided not to let anyone fool me. I didn't know what love feels like for a few months. I started to paint my wrists with a pair of scissors. I remember trying to strangle myself but I failed because I heard someone and stopped. Then I started to develop a crush on a different person! I felt so upset at myself and finally decided they I'd die by hanging myself and taking a lot of pills. My last planned school day was apparently the night of the dance. My friends had somehow gotten my crush to dance with me. That was until someone told my crush that I like him. I was really upset and went outside to try and get fresh air. I remember crying off to the side and CandiPixel was right next to me; telling some great jokes. In reality d3athold3R was asking him if he likes me and she said that he does and I gave her a bear hug. PrussianAwesomness however said he only said that he liked me so I'd stop crying. In the end, my crush gave me his number. After texting him for a few minites I asked him if he likes me and he apparently likes me back. I tried to stop cutting so he wouldn't see my scars in my arm but I couldn't help but cut. One day I finally opened up to him and told him that I cut. He now has helped me every step of the way. I'm proud to call my boyfriend my boyfriend. Yes, I may have changed and a lot of people ask "(my name) why did you change!" I just reply "I changed for the better." This was all because of that moment in December of 2014.