a love that wasn't his

Do ya know her?

When the sound of keys jingling and the door opening reach Atsumu's ears, the sun outside is already setting, soft hues lightning the living room.

He's staring at his phone, where a picture of the woman is showing, preparing himself for the conversation he's about to have.

He hears Kiyoomi before he sees him, a soft call of his name coming out of his mouth.

Atsumu says nothing until Kiyoomi appears in his line of sight.

Kiyoomi looks at him and a smile graces his face, a little thing, too. Only the corner of his mouth curling up, his eyes softening.

Atsumu cuts him off when he goes to greet him, lifting the phone in his hand to show him the picture. "Do ya know her?"

He sees Kiyoomi's eyes widen, a subtle thing before his face goes back to neutral. A small tell of what his thoughts might be.

"Don't even try and lie to me, please." Kiyoomi still hasn't said anything, and Atsumu is getting impatient. He should be trying to deny everything, right? Tell Atsumu it was all a misunderstanding, that he loves him and only him.

So why isn't he not only saying anything, but also not looking at him?

"Kiyoomi? can ya please look at me?" Ignored. "Please? Or at least talk to me, tell me it isn't what i think it is. Tell me the man I thought was the love of my life is still mine. Please."

That gets a slight reaction out of him. "What did you see?" His voice is low, not much above a whisper.

"Does that even matter?" Pleading, guilty eyes look at him. He sighs. "I saw both of ya walking, smiling, holding hands and kissing- well, her kissing your cheek. I don't- I know I probably shouldn't have overthought things, but I couldn't help it okay? I told 'Samu and at the end I found out some other things."

"What things? Please, Atsumu. What things?" Kiyoomi hurries to say once he throws him an exasperated glance.

"That ya've been dating her for five or six years, known each other longer. And other things that don't really matter."

"Fuck." Kiyoomi mutters. Atsumu looks up at him with wide eyes, his lips slightly open in shock.

What the fuck does he mean with fuck?

"Ya didn't answer my question." He hears a questioning hum. "Do ya know her? I already know ya do, but ya know what I mean."

Silence.

"Don't remember? Okay. So, ya've been dating that woman for a lot of years, and then ya started dating me while still being with her, and I wonder, do I even know the real you? Does she know about me? Us? Were ya ever going ta tell me?"

He stands up and tries to get Kiyoomi to look at him, but the other avoids his eyes, preferring to look at the floor.

Wow.

It feels irreal, how a week ago, Atsumu was living the best of his life. He had an amazing boyfriend who he knew better than anyone else and viceversa.

But he's not really sure of that anymore. He needs to ask.

He really does.

"Kiyoomi, do i even know the real you?"

Say yes. Please, say yes.

Kiyoomi doesn't answer, and Atsumu is starting to feel a little dizzy. He feels as if he just hit a dead end, doesn't really know where to go from here, doesn't know what else to do except ask for questions that are obviously not gonna be answered.