The Tribute (Clexa)

Chapter 12

Clarke was certain her eyes had never been so big before in her life. Before her stood the tallest tree she had ever seen. Of course, she had only just seen her first tree the day before, but this tree topped that one and all the others in between, and the kicker was it looked exactly like the Last Tree that was sitting in its pot in her bedroom. Well, technically it was Lexa's bedroom.

She had been staring at the tree for five minutes trying to take it, and what she was feeling, in. Riding on the horse with Lexa had been an eye-opening experience. After Lexa had helped her get on and off the extremely patient Haula three times, Clarke had been confident that she would be comfortable riding on the horse with Lexa, that was until the alpha got on the horse and sat behind her in the saddle.

Because Lexa was behind her, the alpha had needed to reach around her to grab the horse's reins. It had also brought the alpha's body exceedingly close to her, and while she could tell that Lexa was doing everything in her power not to lean into her, there were a few times that the front of the alpha's body came flush against her back, and that feeling, that warmth, had sent tiny tingles zipping through her body, and she didn't know what to make of that. The tingling feeling only amplified when she got large nose-fulls of the alpha's spicy scent. In all her time on the Ark, she found the scent of an alpha off-putting, but Lexa's scent hadn't put her off at all. She found herself discreetly taking in large lungsful of air just to try and catch Lexa's scent, and she didn't know what to do with that.

Lexa still made her exceptionally nervous, but she was finding that she wasn't nearly as afraid, except for the few times when the new Heda barked an order or two at Gustus and Anya who followed in the distance.

Each time that Lexa did yell out a command, Clarke had shrunk a little in the saddle, and it had Lexa apologizing profusely to her.

That was another thing she was trying to get used to. Lexa had apologized to her numerous times, as had the others, and it was hard to come to grips with that when technically no one had done anything wrong. She was the one that had the problem. She was the one that would cower when someone raised their voice or accidentally commanded her to do something, and she obeyed. It was on her that she still couldn't decipher the difference between a command and a simple comment or suggestion, so it felt wrong that everyone, especially Lexa, kept apologizing to her. It made her feel like she was the one doing something wrong, and it was probably because she was.

She had no idea how to act in front of Lexa and the others. Life on the Ark may have been horrible, but at least there had been a routine, and up there, she knew how to act and what to expect. Here, everything came at her as a surprise, and it was beginning to wear on her. She found herself trying to anticipate how to react, and it was utterly exhausting.

So, as she stood there contemplating how a tree like the Last Tree could grow into something so enormous, she was also found herself wondering what was going to happen next. The whirlwind of emotions she was experiencing had her feeling raw and exposed. It almost made her want to cry. If she were up on the Ark, she would be able to confide in her father, but down here she had no one, no one to talk to about how lost she was feeling.

She could feel Lexa standing behind her. The alpha was trying to respect her space and give her time to take in the wonder that was the forest, and that is what finally caused the tears to overflow from her eyes. Lexa, the alpha who had won her as a prize, had already shown her more respect than any other person had ever shown her in her entire life. It had her feeling overwhelmed but exceedingly grateful at the same time.

Lexa owed her nothing, yet she went out of her way to try and make Clarke comfortable. The omega hadn't realized this at first. Everything that Lexa had done for her, from the moment her pod had crashed, had been to try and make her feel better, to try and make her feel safe, and to try and help her heal, only she had completely misunderstood. That she didn't recognize Lexa's actions as truly heartfelt from the beginning made her feel like a shitty human being. Couldn't she have attempted to set her fears aside for even a moment? Couldn't she have listened better when everyone said they weren't there to hurt her, only to help her?