Tainted Love

June Again

IRIS

JUNE 1ST

The Portkey spat Iris out on the same street corner she had left from last June. She blinked a couple of times before she looked around, trying to get her bearings, to remember where things were in relation to her.

It didn't take her long. She couldn't find a single thing that had changed -- all the bricks, all the signs, all the storefronts looked the exact same. She grasped for the version of herself who had been standing on the corner a year ago. Her optimism, casual anxiety, the careless way she slung her life around.

But she had changed in lieu of the street corner. She was unrecognizable from the girl who had left.

She stood there for a moment, hand loosely wrapped around her bag, big clear sky above her. It was hot, humid, the type of sunny day she would wish for when the London clouds seemed like they would never blow by.

Now Iris wished for cold, the dry frost in the air on the night of the Christmas Eve Ball, gathering up her dress in her fist, hairs on her arm sticking up. She wished for the torrential downpour of Friday nights, rain staining her hair darker as she ran between the Siren and the Leaky with Tracey.

She wished for the last nights, crying on Sebastian's couch, her body sinking through every floor until she was deep underground. She wasn't there, not exactly, but she wasn't gone, either.

Being gone was a worse feeling by far. The sun was tortuous. She looked into it until she had to blink, let a tear fall from her eye.

"Iris!" A girl's voice called, and Iris turned around to see Sadie barreling towards her.

She blinked, trying to get rid of the smear that the sun had left on her vision. Its edges warped without shrinking, disguising Sadie's face. Simon was behind her, walking at a much more normal pace but with just as wide of a grin on his face.

They weren't supposed to be here. She was staying at their new house while she waited for the lease to start on her apartment, but she hadn't asked them to pick her up. She wasn't sure she wanted them to pick her up, especially not like this.

"Surprise!" Sadie chirped happily as she reached Iris's side. A flicker of confusion passed over her brow as she took Iris in. The sun smear was gone, but everything still felt painfully bright.

"Hi," Iris said softly, attempting to smile.

Simon strolled up behind them.

"We thought we'd come grab you so you could put your bags down," Sadie said, her brows furrowing slightly. Iris knew she was acting weird -- she should be jumping into Sadie's arms, pushing Simon's shoulder.

"That's perfect," Iris smiled. She was happy to see them, really. She had missed them.

It felt like every time she went anywhere she was always leaving something behind. She could never exist in a place with everything she loved at once. Grief panged in her chest.

"Are you alright?" Sadie asked.

"Yeah, just tired."

She didn't want to lie to Sadie, not really, not ever. She was her oldest friend, the one she had spent hours complaining to in the corner of their dorm. They had cried together and on each other's behalf countless times.

She just wished the truth was different. She wished that everyone who had ever warned her about Draco -- Sadie and Simon included -- had been proven wrong instead of right.

"Simon, here," Sadie said, reaching for Iris's bag and pulling it towards him. "Why don't you go ahead and take her bags back to the house, and we'll just walk around for a second." She shot him a clear don't argue look.