MODERN AU || ON HOLD
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Afghan Vet Bucky Barnes lost pieces of his mind and body in the war, and returning to modern day life isn't something that he's found easy. With PTSD that lingers in every corner of his mind, adjusting to life is easier...
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☆☆☆
B U C K Y
The VA smelt like old people and oatmeal. It smelt like metal, the same way hospitals do. There were a few other veterans waiting outside the office of Dr. Raynor and I wondered how long they had been sitting there. Did they just show up and wait hours before their appointment? I didn't understand.
I sat down in my usual seat, an overstuffed gray armchair that seemed to have an ass print proportionate to my own. Every Saturday morning, this chair is where I sat. Ever since I was discharged from the military and court-ordered to sit through one hundred sessions. Almost two years' worth of my life will be wasted in this room, thanks to some judge that deemed me mentally unfit.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. It was on low battery, which made sense because I was on it all morning at the gym. Today was the only day I went to the gym this week. I'd been up since 5 AM. Not being able to sleep was something I wasn't exactly excited to talk about with my therapist. In fact, there was nothing that I wanted to talk about with my therapist. I didn't even want to talk to her.
"James Barnes," I looked up when I heard my name being called. A young woman was standing by the door. One of the morning receptionists that I saw each week. She was college-aged, probably around twenty-one or twenty-two. Probably majoring in some sort of shrink-related field. I bet she was just thrilled to find out she'd be working behind a desk, not being able to use whatever stupid skills she was learning about in class.
"James? Dr. Raynor is ready for you." She said again.
I sighed as I stood up, pocketing my phone. I didn't say anything as I walked past her, headed towards the same room my therapist was always in. Stupid framed sayings of self-love, acceptance, and crap like that hung from the walls. Murals of happy people with their families, and their pets, show what a great life you could live if you just got better. If you just got over whatever it was that made you so depressed. It was all bullshit to me. None of this shit worked.
Only five more sessions to go, and I was home free.
Dr. Raynor was sitting in her chair when I walked into the office, and I sat across from her on the couch. I knew she wasn't exactly happy to see me. We didn't get off on the right foot in our first few dozen sessions. And she knew of my disapproval of the whole shrink thing. I didn't exactly hide it.
"Hi James," She said to me as I got comfortable. "You don't look so good today."
"Oh, thanks." I said, "Real nice way to start our morning together. You know you don't look so good either."
