Green With Love

Love at First Fart

It was a lovely spring day, the birds were singing, the bees were fucking and everyone was just merry as hell. You were walking through the magical forest listening to it all when the loudest, most earth shattering fart ripped through it all. It tittered on for eternity, the blast and smell of it all dazzling and enchanting you. Your eyes widen and you swoon a little.

"How scrumptious!" You yell, bracing yourself against a tree, as the force of the fart had flung you several meters into a large oak shaped like a particular voluminous ass.

You just knew you had to find the magnificent man who had made that explosion of flatulence. You ran through the forest towards the man who had captured your heart with just the ground breaking force of one fart. You followed the smell and path of destruction until you came upon a stinky swamp and a fine little hut.

The smell was strongest where a stranger was bathing in the mud. Your eyes widened and you blushed a little as you watched the most beautiful, handsomest, strongest, green man you had ever seen in your life grossly wash himself in mud.

Brown rivers of mud ran down his green popping pectorals and outlined his beer belly. As the muscles rippled in his back, you couldn't help but giggle and kick your legs a little, just hoping he would turn around and let you see his gorgeous face.

•••••

Shrek had noticed something off the minute the smell of his swamp changed from the usual musty, dampness, to a flowery smell he had only ever once experienced in the heat of summer--dry mouthed and whimpering as he hid the love letter to his crush behind his back and shuffled a little.

It smelled like his crush in his little area. His crush had never been a lost love and he still loved him. Shrek gasped and shivered a little as he felt a hot, burning gaze on his back. He could only begin to hope as he felt the eyes drink him in and and went green at the thought.

Shrek hoped a little more as he slowly, began to turn around and face the one who had caught him sexily bathing in his swamp...

•••••

The handsome green stranger turned around and shit brown eyes met yours. It was love at first sight. He was even more beautiful than you had imagined, with a wide nose and diarrhea like eyes. A green glowering face and thick brows with two little elongated ears. You couldn't wait to hold his large mug between your hands and smooch his skrunkly ass silly.

"Y/N....!?"

Gasps out the surprised stranger, his eyes shooting downwards in a bout of shyness. Your heart flutters against your rib cage and you hear him stutter his next words a bit.

"D-Do, do y-you remem-member me y/n?"

The stranger blushes green and averts his eyes again.

You wrack your brain a bit and are suddenly whisked away to a memory you've been holding sacred in you voluptuous ass since Day 69 of year 420.

{It is a day just like any other, where the screaming in the forest gets louder with the cicadas and the woodland creatures battle royale with swords they stole from Lord Farquad's bathroom. You are at fart summer camp and you had just ass gassed the counselors for skipping on the bean and cabbage tacobell breakfast you had been promised on the extremely misleading pamphlet these guys gave out. Everyone was running around laughing, except a shy green boy in the corner. He hid there...until he farted a little too loudly and everyone went silent. The green boy hid his head and flushed in embarrassment, trying to hide again. Sensing his embarrassment, you went to stand up for him by letting out a louder fart that rocked the whole camp. Everyone clamored to get away from you as the smell was that of a thousand dead cows. Everyone except one, the shy green boy name Shrek, who stared at him with eyes of adoration.}

"OMG" You yell out into the clearing.

"SHREK!" You shriek, letting out a little poot in excitement!

"Ah its s-so nice to see you again Y/N senpai"

Shrek turns his head to look at you more thoroughly and flushes dark green again.

"I love you-" You blurt out, blushing through your whole body.

"It's love at first sight" said Shrek kindly, poopoopeepee brown eyes never leaving yours.

"I've loved you since fart camp, and I love you now too. Ive been practicing my farts for you since than...I-I I'm so glad you finally heard it and came running. D-donkey! I just love you so much senpai!"

Shrek continued to say, eyes shining with unshed tears and a sweet smile upon his spring green face.

Your heart fills with joy and love at your beloved and you say:

"That fart blew me away, literally. I've fallen for you all over again. I cannot believe we are finally together again my beloved Shrek!"

In a sudden bout of passion you fly towards each other, chest bumping heroically and squeezing each other in bone crushing hugs. At least three of your ribs are broken, but you couldn't care less.

As you finally have found your long lost love- Shreky Poo. <3