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3

The weather in north Dakota is palmy in June . The crisp scent of summer greets me as I enter the handball court . I sit on the green grass for a moment , grounding myself and taking deep breaths . I retied my shoe laces while humming enchanting by taylor swift.

 The girls have not yet gathered around so I stand up and start running along the white line of the field to warm up . I am aware of the body shape that I possess. I do love my curves but i'm the human specimen that gains weight swiftly. This is why i like working out, especially swimming and playing handball .I always catch the feeling that I refined my curves and flattened my tummy that lurks everyday to the chance of growing due to my late drinking habit . 

I distaste the idea of distorting my body shape , this is my desire for looking forever youthful . It explains why I contemplate the thought of dying young , or at least at the age of 45. However I also have to add, It is a way to not compromise my game too . I need to feel perfect when I put my schemes .

Yesterday I couldn't sleep again, until 2 am. I bought an app that locks my phone , so I couldn't fiddle with it again. This is my first step to the light . To actually live my life rather then spending it in that web hole. Nevertheless, I couldn't resist the temptation of sipping some wine at midnight. Then the place between my thighs felt hollow , a burning hunger inside  was rising. I knew this was coming because at this period of time I am used to work for a client. Of course, I masturbated until I fell asleep.This morning, I knew that this replacement will get me nowhere. I need  another coping solution, a better one .I need a boyfriend . 

Someone that can  distract me and  get me through this phase until I move on. I have two profiles in mind . The first ,Jake . A dapper young man and the leader of the football team. Then,  there is Ryan , the cute guy with dimples but he is always known to be very smooth with girls. Both of them are famous in school, yet I think I'm going for Jake . Because, it is rumoured that Ryan and another girl are hitting it off , so it would be a Extra-work to divert his attention from her to me. Jake ,on the other hand, brings to mind some sunshine and sweetness, and as as far as i know , he is still single. I hope he is , at least .  I can sense that he is different from his guy friends that get laid at any given chance.So my target is settled. I need to be around him and get to know him better. Making friends with his circle might be a good idea, so it's like hitting two birds with one stone, I guess.

Yet , i may not rejoice hanging with them all the time. thus , i might need to find another  potential group of friends, just to keep my options open. 

My school isn't  different from any of  the stereotypical structure of high schools  we see in the films . We have all  kinds of students, from the cheerleaders to the geeks . However , I don't know yet where should I insert myself . I need to pick a group , so I can't end up alone next year . But it seems pointless to directly pursue a group of people and openly try to enter their surrounding . It's too obvious . The solution is not to target the group but someone within the group . An inside person . Jake's circle of friends is composed of those who are socially popular in school. Unlike the fellow introvert you have here .

I won't deny that i observed them for a while back .In the 10th grade . The usually car race , throw a party , travel together and more . I franckly want to be doing that also. . Their Epicurius spirit is something i appreciate . Though , we're still different . 

My first step requires to target a girl in the circle and befriending her. It is a natural and ordinary move to do. 

For this matter ,  Two candidates cross my mind again.

 Achley derringer seems a good starting point , she is a tall blond girl . She' s very into fashion , and from her pinterest account , I can tell  her inclinations to be a clothing designer in the future. The good thing is that she is in my science class too. She used to date Jake , but that didn't work out . They are good friends now. Then there is Nora huddson , rich brunette , she is friends with Ashley too , But I hardly know something about her . Her social media isn't that vibrant . Yet she seems a welcoming person.

My thighs started to ache. I sank in my thoughts that I forgot that I was running for so long. Some girls are already here , but The coach is still  late. After two minutes I spot the administrative assistant  walking toward us .

- I am sorry , but coach foster has called on sick , he will not be present for this whole week. Thank you .

With that, I head out to the girls locker room , my phone haven't stopped buzzing.I put my backpack on the bench and sit to check my notifications first. I look up my fairies's update first. Everything seems in place. My fairies are zara089 and sweetlaine. Zar was the first one I hired and then sweetlaine . Although I never met them I do feel a strong connection between us as friends .They know everything , and they can break me on this app if they wish to . I just trust them .

A grey message pop up.

- private chat tomorrow , the usual . ~ Kelevra

Oh all right , him again. I'm not sure if I have the strength to tolerate his aura nor his authoritarian attitude again. He acts like he already owns me , Goddamnit . But he pays very good and my fairies need some money lately. I'll set this quietly tomorrow.I search In my pics to send him one before the message .

- Rose , hey ! I haven't seen you a lot.

Freezed , I quickly turn off my screen and slid it casually in my pocket . knowing the voice behind me , I fake a sweet smile hoping that she didn't see anything and face two clear blue eyed girl.

- hello heather , oh well , you know classes and stuff.

- haha I forgot the nerd side of you ... How's auntie ?

- She's doing well , you know ... she always keeps a high-spirit...

Heather , lives two bloks away from my home and studied with me since the fifth grade but each one of us took a different route in sophomore. A very bubbly person , a professional gossiper, and a little trouble  maker. We used to hang around a lot one summer . I enjoyed her company ,  then i just wanted it to stop.I don't quite recall why , but i felt discomfort when i started to feel being close to her. 

-Well i'm glad to hear that ... we need to catch on sometimes  ,  I hope you forget  the books  a little and come and hang sometimes . she responds while waving at other girls behind me. 

"Hey heather , you're still going tonight , right?"  a brown girl asked her while toweling her soaked hair.

"You bet your ass i am" headther grinned. "hey rose, why don't you come with us , she  said averting her attention to me , my friends and I are going to a club this night . wanna join."

- Umm I'm not sure , 

- come on , you always think a lot.

-it would be lovely thank you , but ..

My phone buzzed two times reminding me of the plans i subconscioussly meant i would do in this evening. I already felt the morbid helplessness and despair crawling down my spine , I felt the heat of sadness harboring under my skin. I was aware that i've been staring at the girls  for ten seconds.

 I need to get away from the hell in my phone and  i should respond fast before they think weirder things of me.

- you know  what , It sounds good , i would love to come , if it's okey with you guys . I replied smiling while diverting my attention to her friend. 

" yes sure " she cheered. 

- Oh okey then! heather exclaimed.  9pm. we'll pick you up. She said with her usual glowy smile.

And then I see her move her slim body and disappear in the showers. That was close . 

Speaking of friends . Heather, is one of the few people that I talk to casually. Yet because , I never realised that she could serve for anything for me , i kept my distance . It only happen few times now . But regarding my current situation , i think i have to reconsider. 

I need to get ready , it's already 4pm.