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Those pains can heal; however, it is real? I wanted to tell, Those pains that I feel But nobody here I can't bear I can only hear Those demons whisper
"Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head." - Unknown
I've reached the point of giving up. I'm tired of everything. I'm sick of acting like everything is fine. All I want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because it's killing me inside.
It is not my intention to hurt myself again, but I keep hearing those demons inside my mind.
I'm tired, but I'm still fighting for my family, but how can I fight if they are the reason why it happens to me?
"Died! Kill yourself, if you want to ease your pain."
"No one loves you, Kio."
There they are again. I tightly covered both my ears, but I could still hear that voice. Those words are still echoing in my mind.
"Please, stop!" I screamed while lying on the bed covered with a thick blanket. This has happened to me several times, but to this day, I am still terrified.
"I'm scared."
Desperately, I went out the door and quickly went to mom's room, even though I was having trouble walking, and I felt weak. There, I saw mom talking on the phone.
I approached her. "M-mom, please help me! I d-don't know what to do." I uttered, even though it was hard for me to open my mouth.
Even before she answered, I immediately bowed my head. "Later, son. "I'm still talking to someone," she answered, noting that she didn't even look at me.
I waited for her to finish, but I only got weaker when she spoke. "I'm sorry, I'm busy right now." she said before going out.
I cried.
Next I went to my sister. There, I saw her talking to her boyfriend.
"A-ate, c-can you please help me? I'm scared." I mumbled.
"Later, kio. Nakikita mo namang may kausap ako 'diba?" My heart shattered.
I held her clothes while she was sitting, and tears streamed down my cheeks. "A-ate, please? I don't know what to do. Demons are everywhere."
"Demons? Gosh, Kio. You're hallucinating, you better go to your room."
They didn't believe me every time I mentioned that.
I ran upstairs and locked myself in the room again. When I remembered my friend, I quickly called him.
"I'm busy, Kio. Can you call later?" before I could speak, he was ahead of me.
"Please, you're the last one I can seek for help." but then, I realized that he had already hung up the line.
Later? I'm sick of hearing those words from them.
I cried. My eyes are swollen and weak that I couldn't see anything except for myself who's been suffering day and night.
"See? No one's cares for you, Kio."
"Kill yourself now, Kio."
Kill? Maybe this is the only thing that I should do to remove the pain that I feel.
Perhaps it's better.
"How sad, there's no later for me." I smiled weakly.
-
Then, a young boy who was hanging on a rope is now gradually losing his breath. A stream of blood dripped across his mouth, an indication that he was already dead. He strangled himself out of sadness. And for the last time, a tearful drop fell on the floor. Who would have thought that would be the last tear that would fall from his precious eyes?
Kion Lopez's time of death 11:11
Because you know why? Before 11:11, he wished that the pain will fade away until he committed suicide, exact that time, and that's when the pain disappeared. He doesn't feel anything anymore.
Poor young man. He died doing what he liked. He thought it's worth it. But the truth is he still had a whole life ahead of him.
"Too much pain, life is really unfair. They always make him feel this thing."
