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Have you ever been asked who you would choose between the two person most important to you? Do you want to know what that feels like?
It feels like breaking your heart into pieces.
He was eight years old that time when his mom and dad broke up. They argue a lot of things in front of him while he's just listening to their argument.
"Magpapanggap ka pa rin ba? Umamin ka na, Rio."
A woman's voice can be heard in the small house where two couples are fighting while a little boy is standing in front of them.
"A-ano bang sinasabi mo riyan? Ilang ulit ko bang sasabihin sa 'yong walang namamagitan sa amin ni Era."
"Nagmamaang-maangan ka!" hatred and anger can be seen but its pitiful face prevails even more.
His dad grabbed his mom's hand but his mom immediately removed it and slapped him hard.
"Huwag mo akong hawakan, nakadidiri ka."
He can see his mom's beautiful eyes that now are tinged with sadness and pain.
Those words are like a knife piercing his chest.
"Mom... Dad..." hikbi nito. "Please, stop fighting" he uttered.
They didn't listen. They never stopped fighting. Since that night, there hasn't been a day without them arguing. He feels that his family is slowly being destroyed.
They don't sleep next to each other anymore. His dad often leaves. He thinks that It's not like his family before. Back then his family was still happy but now why does it seem like it's opposite.
'Is it really like this in the family? Is it a part of a family?' It was those questions that troubled his mind. At a young age he should be just playing but he is like a young man who is venturing into the problems of life.
"Son, when the time comes for you to have a family, make sure you don't end up like your dad and I." while eating, his mother broke the silence between the two of them. They were the only ones in their house because his dad had been gone for several days.
"..."
"What do you mean, mom?" He ask.
"Our family is not what it used to be."
"Can our family be fixed? Mom, right?"
"It's hard to fix it if only one of us is fighting, while the other one is giving up."
"I don't get it, mom."
"To give you an example. Imagine that your dad is a base, while I am the flower." She stopped. She took his hand and locked him in her arms.
"The flower has been there for years at the base and as time goes on and the time changes. You don't realize that the base is cracking until it's slowly broken. Can you still fix it?"
"Hmmm, yes? It's hard but it's still possible." the boy answered.
Umiling siya, "Yes, you're right. If you are referring to the small damage, it's possible. But if the base is completely crushed, it's impossible to fix it. No matter what you try to fix if that thing gives up voluntarily, you must stop it."
That's deep. And He's still too young for that but he understand little by little.
That evening his father came home. He was very happy because he had been waiting at their door for a few days while hoping that his dad would come home to their house. But then, that joy was immediately replaced by sadness when he witnessed his parents fighting again.
"Mommy? What are you doing?" He saw his mom putting his dad's clothes in the bag. It was only there that he saw his mom crying when he got close to her.
It was only then that he realized that his parents were going to separate. He couldn't understand and he was trying to process his mind that his family would never be okay again but it's seems like he can't. He was too young to witness the unpleasant incident between his dad and mom.
"We're done, at ginagawa mo na lang ito para sa anak natin. Pero hindi kaba naaawa sa anak mo? Patuloy natin siyang niloloko na ayos pa ang pamilyang ito pero sa totoo'y sira na, wala na."
"Hindi masasaktan ang anak natin kung hindi mo sasabihin ang bagay na ito, Mia."
"Are you insane? I'm not crazy enough to hide that from my son forever. Alam mo 'yan, Rio."
"Our son."
"Our son? Tangina, nagbibiro ka ba?" his mom laughed bitterly. His Mom came to him and he felt her mom touched his face.
"I can't stand seeing my son waiting for nothing every night, hearing your name while he sleeps, asking where are you and why aren't you coming home. I feel guilty every time I lie just to cover up the fact that you are already happy with someone else." tears began to fall from his eyes after hearing what her mom said.
"It's already painful for me, what about our son, Rio?"
"Anak, kanino ka sasama? Kay papa o kay mama?"
"..." he couldn't speak. He felt like there was liquid dripping from his eyes onto his cheek.
"Anak, kanino ka sasama? Kay papa o kay mama?"
"Anak, kanino ka sasama? Kay papa o kay mama?"
Those question kept repeating in his mind.
"Maybe it's hard for you to answer that but you have to choose between me and your dad."
Those words are like a countless needles were piercing his heart.
"I... I can't m-mom." after he spoke, he quickly ran to his room while crying. He locked the door. There, he cried and cried. He looked pitiful as his face was wet from tears like a speed of a horse racing to break free.
He doesn't know why he have to choose between his dad and mom 'cause they're the two person that he love the most. Now, he already realized that his complete family is now a broken one.
Who would have thought that a child like him would experience such an painful event? But we are not really the ones who will decide for the future. Whatever you have now, appreciate it. Because we may be aware, one day the things we have now will suddenly disappear. And sometimes, your joy today, will be replaced by sadness the next day.
"God, I know everything is possible with you. So if there is anything I want to be possible, I hope my family will be fine again and be like the family I had before."
