the weezers saw a bee multitude chanting "THINKING BEE, THINKING BEE!" so they abducted the one bee who was buzzing near the window, leading the army. unfortunately, they forgot to tie him up and Barry B Benson stung one of the weezers which immediately killed him because he was allergic to bees and just found out by dying. barry also died because it got its ass ripped out from stinging the weezer and he was a stripper bee in the colony so he needed his big juicy ass.
"ugh whatever no one cares about him," another weezer said. while the weezers were thinking of what to do with the weezerses corpse mark has convinced tom to untie him because they were married. as soon as he was untied mark knocked tom out cold. "hey! what do you think your doing!?" a weezer said but mark already used his karate skills to swiftly take their evil weezer blue album duracell headphones off. since k-love was still playing they immediately went deaf and fell to the ground, their ears bleeding.
"NOOOOOO NOT CHRISTIAN MUSIC!!" one of the weezer said. by this time tom had woken up. "mark dont do this!" mark turned to his wife "cant you see im doing this for you?" when we get rid of the weezers youll have a whole spaceship to yourself" tom quieted down and thought for a second. "your right!" they turned to green day and jeff. "but what do we do with them though?" mark shrugged. "lets get jeff back to his job. taco bell sucks anyway." "and green day?" "uhhh well think of something on the way there."
so they dropped jeff off back at taco bell after he finally stopped crying. the weezers had regained usage of their ears and were now ready to take back their spaceship. but first they turned off k-love.
mark saw this and immediately summoned travis who, through his amazing drumming skills, knocked out all of the weezers since he was moving so fast. tom and mark finally settled on getting the weeddays back on earth so they did just that. while they were on earth they decided to throw all of the weezers back on earth too. but when they closed the ufo door they saw that an infant had entered. "oh my god tom theres a fucking baby on the spaceship!!" "i know marky im not blind!!"
tom approached the baby and immediately recognized it. mark turned to tom. "holy weez! you had a kid with rivers!? i thought he was a virgin!" mark yelled. "no hes not, okay?? we had been kidnapped by an old lady and we immediately fell in love in her basement but then he left after he got a letter from the half Japanese girl," tom responded. "wait... you cheated on me with rivers?? im filing for a divorce!" so mark pulled the divorce papers out of thin air, already all filled out and divorced tom on the spot. "marky you cant do this!!" tom shouted with weezer blue tears in his eyes. "yes i can!!" and then Mark disappeared, leaving Tom all alone with the child.
Tom picked up the baby and inspected it. Him touching the child immediately summoned Rivers since it was his kid as well."Tom I still love you"Tom, who was heartbroken from Mark just breaking up with him, decided to get back with Rivers to raise their child. But while they were kissing, they hadn't seen the child escape to go on the control board for the spaceship and then immediately destroy it with his lazer eyes."What the hell? The baby has powers??" Tom said"Yes. All Weezer relatives who are still virgins have a powerful set of abilities, which they lose when they have sex.""Nice."
The spaceship crashed because the motherboard had been lazered. However they all survived the crash and the baby grabbed Tom's skateboard and zoomed away to cause more mass destruction."That's my kid!!" Tom proudly said as the baby made several passerbys piss themselves.Then giant hands came down from the sky and rebuilt the spaceship in record time."Oh shit that's my cue!" said Tom as he immediately went back inside."What?? But weren't we going to raise our child together?" asked Rivers."We were, but now I am going to go fufill my dream of being an alien. Goodbye Rivers!"
Tom flew away in the spaceshipRivers sighted and regrouped with the Weezers. They all raised the baby together after that. The end
*******credits to harpoonshootingaxo for writing pretty much this entire chapter cuz i abandoned this shit and gave up wopwopwopwop
