I've waited so long

Now is not the time

Meredith pov:
I have been avoiding Addison all day and I thought she may have left for her flight by lunch , then I was walking to see Amelia in her office "Meredith wait up" I could here it was Addison so I kept walking "I know you can hear me" she said running up to me and she gripped my arm so I stoped "what addison, what do you want I'm busy?" I asked with a strong tone of annoyance "woah I just wanted to know if your ok, Amelia said you haven't been talking much to anyone" she answered looking into my eyes "what you don't see me for 10 years and now you want to know if I'm alright?" I asked struggling out her grip "yes, because you are clearly pissed at me and you seem sad" she said rubbing my shoulder "well in my books that's not the way it works and I'm busy right now Dr Montgomery" I walked away "DR MONTGOMERY THATS WHAT YOUR CALLING ME NOW?!?!" She shouted behind me and I ignored her and walked in on call room .

I got into the oncall room and locked the door , put my hand to my mouth to muffle my crying and just cried for a while, not being able to love Addison the way I wanted was so hard and I felt like the young depressed intern Meredith I was all those years ago when I had given up fighting when I drowned that is how I felt right now. I wiped my eyes and fixed myself up and went to find Amelia , I went to her office and saw her there so I went in "hey" I smiled "Meredith what is going on?" She jumped straight to the point "Ok Amelia I am going to tell you something that I haven't told anyone apart from Christina and I will probably never act on what I'm about to tell you but first you have to promise to not get mad" I explained "I promise just tell me I am worried about you Mer"she said sympathetically "I think I'm in love with Addison" I explained looking down "oh Mer , I'm sorry you don't want to act on your feelings but just know that I am glad you love her even if she will never know it's been tough for her these past years. So why don't you want to act on these feelings if I may ask?" She rambled on "I know this is going to sound pathetic but I don't have it in me to love another person just for them to leave me" I said with tears in my eyes "Oh Mer I think if you told her she would love you too" she walked over and rubbed my back "But she has her practice and friends and Henry and her whole life is in LA , and let's not forget why she moved in the first place" I said through balling my eyes out "what do you mean?" She asked hesitantly "I mean she got overwhelmed with me being with Derek and left" I explained "ok well it's ok she is leaving soon and you can try forget her" she said "I really don't want her to leave though and that is why I'm avoiding her , because if I had been talking with her properly I would have gotten attached , which it seems I already have , but I cant go back to being dark and twisty for the kids sake anyway I have surgery" I left the room still crying but I honestly don't give a shit who see's me at this point , then the one person I did give a shit about saw me crying and I walked away from Amelia's office door quickly.

Addison pov:
I saw Meredith crying and when she saw me she ran away and I burst into Amelia's office "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT WHY IS MEREDITH CRYING?" I yelled worried about Mer "Christ Addison calm down and come inside" she responded calmly "no no Amelia until you tell me what the hell is going on with Meredith Grey I will not calm down even if it means I have to kidnap her myself, because I know for a fact that it has something to do with me because she has been avoiding me for the last two days and right now I could really use a friend like her." I whisper yelled at Amelia "Addison I'm sorry but I can't tell you what's going on and I'm saying this as her sister you need to back off because it will hurt her more if you get involved"she said sympathetically "Amelia please" I said with my voice cracking "I'm sorry but I can't" when I heard her say that I ran out the room and felt as if my heart had been shredded into a million pieces .

I went to get changed out of my scrubs and into normal clothes and just as I touched the elevator button Meredith walked behind and said "Bye Addison" and I don't say anything back I just pulled her into a tight hug then I spoke "look at you" while still gripping her tightly "look at me what?" She questioned "look at you Meredith Grey all grown up" I looked down to see a tear on her cheek then I kissed the top of her head and pushed out of the hug , she smiled at me with a sad smile then hurried off and I honestly had deja vu from when she was an intern hurrying down the hallways . I stepped into the elevator and left for the airport.

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Hey so I did two chapters today since it's been a while but don't worry this is not the end for Satan and medusas love story 💗💗