𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑹𝒆𝒅 | 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝑴𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒐𝒄𝒌

06

06. don't forget who you are

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I sat across from Yelena, enjoying her pancakes from a diner that we stumbled upon and she was hungry. I watched as she stuffed her mouth.

"Yelena?" I broke the silence.

"Hm?" She didn't look up. She was too into her food. Mama used to make us waffles, sprinkle of strawberries and a lot of syrup and whip cream, it was our favorite until what went down.

"You know that i love you right?" I tried so hard not to cry. "And that ill do anything to keep you safe?"

"Devon? Whats this about?" Shes too little to understand but, we're children assassins. Shes only 7.

"Im going away." She stops eating and looks at me. I assured her with a smile. "You'll see me around but I wont be really there." I couldn't tell her why. I didn't want to hurt her, like Natasha did. I saw the older Widows walking in and that was my cue. "I love you Yelena, im sorry." I got up and kissed the top of her head as I left. The Widows looked at me and I had to suck it up. "You take care of her." Yelena watched me as I got in the car and rode off, shes never going to see me the way she is used to. I did this for her, to keep her safe, to not let them turn her into a monster. Dreykov sat across from and scuffs.

"Crying?" He grabs my face and grips my chin tight. "If you shed one more tear, I will have Melina kill your family." I sat there, wiping my tears. "Weak." He slaps me. My cheek burning and turned red. "You did this to yourself."

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My eyes quickly opened, staring at the black ceiling. The horrible thought woke me up and now I realized, I cant move. I stayed on the floor, trying so hard to move a finger. Sleep paralysis. I started getting them ever since i came here. It triggered me when I had those thoughts. My dad had to come and pick me up as I hummed, screaming for help one day.

I gave it my best as I managed to get one finger to move. What felt like hours, was just only 20 minutes. With nobody around, I had it. I could move again. I sat up and drink the cold tea on the table. Her voice was in my head, it was like she never left. Yelena was only 7 when I left her to become Dreykov's puppet. She was alone, she had me and I left. I do wonder what shes been up to.

It was only 4 am, lovely. I stayed up, practicing my combat steps, shower, organize my clothes by the time it was 8. My mom wanted to have mother/daughter day, to catch up, to be close again. I knew she never forgave herself that day. Mom was a wreck. The day I came back, she felt this closure, she finally forgave herself but she wanted/didn't want to know where and what they done to me. I rather not. If one day, if people figure who I really was, I still wouldn't tell her. I don't want her to picture that.