Little Did I Know

Chapter eleven

Jakob

What was I doing? I felt like I was digging myself a bigger hole than I was already standing in. At this rate, I might've just made the official arrangements with the priest and get it over with.

I mean half the crap that was spewing out of my mouth was just that. Crap. I had no idea where it came from. When I was around Emma, I tended to lose my cool and mind along the way and let my alpha mode on full. Which apparently wasn't appreciated one bit.

Girls are frustrating.

One moment they wanted to be dominated and protected and the next moment they wanted none of it.

A sigh escaped my mouth. I needed to NOT blow up on her. That wasn't the way to go.

"How can you be mad at me right now, Jakob?" Emma said sounding very frustrated to say the least.

"I... I..." I stammered. I didn't have a good answer. I could feel perspiration on my forehead, which I tried discreetly to remove with a swipe of my arm across my face. I felt myself drowning.

Why was this so hard?

"Look, Jakob. I don't feel like I'm in the wrong here, and I don't why you reacted the way you did. But this is clearly not working anymore. Whatever this is," Emma said gesturing between us with her hands.

My head snapped up to look at her. Was she ending things before they ever really started?

"Can't we at least talk about it?" I asked pleading with my eyes. "Care to take a walk?"

Anything to keep her here a little while longer.

She looked from side to side, perhaps pondering her options. Cars were driving past us on the road, people were bustling on the sidewalk – some throwing curious glances at us from time to time. I didn't really feel like having an audience to this particular conversation.

"Jakob..."

"Emma..." I pleaded. "Just a small walk. I know you need to get back to Copenhagen today. It's just... I don't want to leave it like this."

She gave a small nod and started walking. Alright then. I guess we're walking.

After having walked several minutes in awkward silence that seemed to stretch out between us for-fucking-ever, I was mustering up the courage to speak, afraid of putting my foot in my mouth. Again. But Emma beat me to it.

"What do you want to talk about, Jakob? Huh?" she asked looking straight ahead.

This did not bode well. We kept walking for a few seconds more before I managed to trip over my own two feet and almost landed flat on my face. Well, at least I didn't put my feet in my mouth this time.

Luckily, Emma reached out and grabbed my hand before I could do anymore damage to my self-esteem. I'm not sure it could take much more. 'Well, let's just wait and see, shall we?' the voice in my head said.

"Be careful, will ya?!" Emma snapped.

"Right, sorry. Thank you," I managed to get out. The temper on this woman.

"Jakob, I don't want to be mean or anything, and maybe we should've talked about this earlier, but this isn't really going anywhere. I thought we were both in agreement because let's be honest, we have nothing in common other than besides the fact that we're both human beings inhabiting planet earth. That's it," she said before continuing her rant.

"I don't owe you anything. Just like you don't owe me anything. We don't owe each other explanations of why we do what we do," she sighed. "It's my life and my choices. You are not my boyfriend, so what's the big deal?"