John's Notebook (johnlock)

Chapter 1

John's Notebook

Chapter 1

Day 1: I think I can safely say today was the worst day of my life.... Well, second worst day.

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You know when something really bad happens, and the next day you wake up thinking its all just a dream. And then when you start to wake up a little more, you start to cling on every last bit of energy you have wanting so much for it to just have been a dream.... I do. This morning I still expected him to be here. Why isn't he here? I wouldn't believe it. He's always ok, it doesn't make sense, I miss you sherlock.....

Day 2: I dreamt about him last night. He was just sitting on the couch, and then he looked over at me and smiled. I miss him so much.... His things are still scattered around the flat. I don't want to pick them up because I'm afraid of forgetting him. When are you coming back? I miss you.

Day 3: Today I left for the first time since Sherlock....... I went to visit him, I brought him some flowers. Then I went to go get some groceries since we- er, I didn't have any food left. I saw a tall dark haired man next to the milk and I thought it was sherlock, I broke down. My legs gave out and I sat there, crying, broken, on the ground. I'm not coping well. I'm not really coping at all.....

Day 4: I woke up this morning with an awful headache. I fixed some tea and lay down. I kept hearing your voice. Eventually the headache went away, but I stayed in bed. I'm such a mess.

In a way I'm sort of glad you can't see me. You wouldn't like it. I'm sorry...

Day 5: This morning I woke up right as the sun was coming up and it gave me the urge to go out and do something. I know it's a little soon. But I don't like the person I've become. It scares me. So I took a shower got dressed and went out. Not really for a specific reason, just to get out of that flat. It feels haunted.

I passed the pet store. I bought a cat. Yea, I know it's a little weird but I think it'll be nice having a little company around. He's black with a little white spot on his chest. I named him Hugo, isn't that cute? Hugo.

Day 6: Yesterday I brought Hugo home. While Mrs. Hudson was playing with him, something dawned on me: I had to clean the flat. I didn't want to, but I was afraid Hugo might get hurt with all your stuff laying around. It took every bit of strength I had not to break down. Especially when I found your scarf. Just to think that only a week ago we were out solving cases.... So alive. The place is clean now. When Mrs. Hudson walked in she said it looked like an entirely different building. There's almost no trace you were here. I wish you were here, right now. Please come home soon, Sherlock.

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Hope you like it, it's my first johnlock fanfic so I apologize if it's bad.