John's Notebook (johnlock)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke up some time later in a hospital room. Harry was on her knees holding my hand. Clara sat behind her. "Hey" she said with a forced smile "How are you feeling?" she asked. I cleared my throat

"Alive" I managed

Harry looked like she had been crying. I couldn't really tell, I'm no Sherlock.

Sherlock.

Oh god, where's sherlock?

"Where's sherlock?" I asked frantically, trying to sit up, though there was and excruciating pain in my lower shoulder.

Harry and Clara exchanged looks. Oh, god. "Where's Sherlock?" I asked again with more force this time.

"Sherlock was shot in the chest twice.... They don't..... They don't know if he'll be okay"

No.

No no no no no.

Oh God, he can't die. Not again.

I could feel all the blood drain from my face. My heart sank and I felt like nothing else in the world was more important than this.

"Oh god where is he?" I barely could get the words out.

"He's in the operating room" she told me, the tears in her eyes coming back.

"I have to go see him" I said trying desperately to get up. The nurse rushed to my side. "No no no, just stay here, you need to rest."

"I have to make sure he's okay!"

No matter how hard I tried, how much I begged, they were determined to keep me in that bed.

Throughout that day I felt more useless than I had ever felt in my entire life.

I thought the worst feeling in the world was knowing that your best friend was dead. But I was wrong. It was not knowing whether he was dead or not, and knowing you can't do anything about it.

The next day I finally convinced the nurse to let me visit him.

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The next day the nurse informed me I was almost well enough to go home, but they wanted me to stay for the day just to be sure.

Sherlock was having surgery so I couldn't see him until later that day.

Thus began the most boring day of my life.

There was a tv, but there weren't any good channels. So, for the past two days I had eaten nothing but hospital food, so I was relieved when Harry brought me a sandwich from Speedy's.

The rest of the day was basically just napping, watching something rubbish on the Telly, eat, repeat cycle.

Finally Sherlock was accepting visitors.

I got dressed (painfully) and started walking to the other side of the hospital to where Sherlock's room was. Harry wanted to come with, but I said I'd rather prefer to be alone. She understood.

Finally I got to his room.

I didn't want to go in.

I didn't want to see him so broken.

I gathered up all my strength and knocked on the door.

The rest was history.

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Wow, that only took me 2 weeks to upload. Sorry :/ school's a biotch.

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