The Rancorous Heart

VI

It was a restless night of sleep, your mind was racing between accepting Stu's offer and take down Billy or you could attempt to take both of them down. Thoughts of calculating what to do next flooded your mind as you even had the lingering thought of how you could get the revenge that you craved after all these years.

At some point when the sun rose in the sky, you gave up on sleeping, opting to using the old coffee pot to get you a morning brew. The taste of burnt coffee filled your system, it was better than the coffee you had while locked up. You dressed for the day, wearing the uniform that Mr. Ray gave you. You took one final look in the mirror, seeing how much older you looked since the last time you actually took the time to stare at yourself. 

You had wrinkles forming underneath your eyes from all the years you barely lived a full life. A few stray grey hairs started peppering your hair as you brushed your hair back. Walking out of the door, you held the Styrofoam cup of coffee in your hands as you walked down the stairs to the front desk where Tara was, typing away on her computer.

"Good morning Miss Tara" 

You politely greeted her as she broke her concentration from her laptop to look at you. Her eyes bore yours as she gave a slight smile your way. 

"Good mornin' there.  off to work today?" 

She asked before you responded with a soft 'yes' as she took off her reading glasses. Tara's sleeve tattoos were slightly covered by the simple white tee shirt she wore. Her muscles were framed perfectly with the shirt as she speaks.

"I will drive you today since you are scheduled to go in to renew your license at the dmv later this week. Are you ready to go?" 

Tara asked as she stood up, grabbing her keys as you felt your pocket for your keys and wallet.

"I'm ready to go."

You smiled, following Tara to her old Ford pickup truck. It oddly suited her personality, from the red leather seats to the fact her truck still had cassette tapes with the built in ashtray having few cigarette filters. Sitting in the passenger seat, you see Tara enter the driver's side, buckling herself in before turning to you.

"Feel free to have a smoke if you're into that." 

She offered you a cigarette from her pack of Marlboro Reds but you politely declined. Turning on the car, the humming of Johnny Cash's "Folsom prison blues" buzzed through her speakers. She pulls out of the parking lot, driving down the road. 

Although you never was the one to be into country music, spending years behind bars made the words that Johnny sung more true to you. The many days while locked up where it felt like years. Nothing much to do but stare at the four walls and hear the constant sounds of other people in similar situations enduring the same things as you did. 

Tara's sudden voice pulls you away from your lingering thoughts about your past as you were pulled back into reality. 

"I'm not going to ask you to tell me about what happened. But I'll tell you something that might help you. I was in prison because I was protecting someone. Your silence will only let that person think they got away with something. I'm not going to judge you. I just am shocked to see someone as timid like yourself be a killer.."

The words from Tara's mouth were soothing for you as you looked at her expression while she drove. Her eyes were slightly glossy while she mentioned protecting someone. You completely understood how she felt. Your own eyes fought back the stray tear you had as you sighed softly. 

"When I was 18, I was in a relationship with two guys. They were my first everything. My first relationship, first kiss, you name it. I was at my peak. I had a scholarship to the cooking school of my dreams, on the path of having one of the highest gpas, my parents were proud of me. I fucked it all up because of my love. I was young and stupid." .

You opened up to her, it felt as if the weights on you were lifted as you took another drink of the bitter coffee. 

"Darlin'.. it's not all your fault.. you were young and manipulated by the two guys. They used your love for them to save themselves… we're going to have to talk to Dale when you get off.. the truth will set you free.. please think about telling everything to Dale." 

Tara pulls her truck into the parking lot of the Diner. A wave of relief filled your body as Tara wasn't judging you for your past, trying to help you. You couldn't help but to feel scared of Billy or Stu finding out that you confessed to Tara and eventually your lawyer. You didn't want anyone else to die because of you.

"Thank you Miss Tara for everything.. see you tonight." 

You said goodbye before walking into the building to start your shift,  training with Mark. The cafe diner was rather quiet, a few regulars occasionally entering and ordering food as the hum of the local news played ad background noise. 

Suddenly, the breaking news segment appeared as the older male news anchor spoke. 

"Breaking news this morning: the bodies of 3 teens: Sarah Philips, Jake Smith, and Karly Smith were found dead at one of the victims: Sarah Philip's house. If you have any information please call the number on the screen below."

Seeing the pictures of the three teens brought a sense of guilt through your body as you saw your old friends that died all those years ago. The ones that didn't get justice because of you. Your gut was telling you to tell Dale everything. 

Your chest felt heavy as you felt like you knew in your heart what happened. Your eyes stared into the screen as memories flooded your mind about seeing Billy and Stu kill someone for the first and only time they killed in front of you. Mr. Ray's voice calling your name got you back to reality as you got to work.