【~Ｒａｎｄｏｍ Ｄｓａｆ ｏｎｅｓｈｏｔｓ~ ||ＤＡＶＥＳＰＯＲＴ ＭＯＳＴＬＹ||】

[An orange and an eggplant go to a 7/11]

[A/N]

HELLO, its me, Kaoru! sorry for very slow updates/chapters ToT
THIS IS MY MOST READ BOOK OMFGGGFGGFYUJ (thanks for 1k reads!!!!)
btw this is a fluffy shot about Christmas even though it's fucking summer

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Jack's POV
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Christmas! I hate it. Children are always screaming their heads off, too many bright lights, shiny items in my face, and crazy expensive food and clothing that are fucking worthless after January. I hate to be a huge buzzkill, but it's true. Christmas is just another over exaggerated holiday. I thought Christmas was just stuff for people who only believe in god, not idiotic parents who spoil their children and buy them a fucking limo at age of 3. 

Right, I forgot about secret Santa. My boss is practically forcing us to do secret Santa with our co-workers (including himself) to, and I quote, 'get along and make amens'. Stupid. The only person I can tolerate at that hell hole I call 'work' is Dave. Luckily, when we picked names out of hat I got Dave. But what the hell do I buy a kiddie strangler?

Eh, I'll figure that out later. For now, I have to get to work on time or else fuck face will be on my ass all day about it.

[ After work brought to you by RAID SHADOW LEGEN- ]

Since my car is getting repaired at a shop right now, i decide to just walk. As I walk along the icy path, along with grass that is covered in snowflakes, practically frozen, I come to a stop when i see a small 7/11 store. I've recently ran out of cigarettes so i'll see if they have any, they've got to have cigarettes right?

As I approach the entrance, I see a familiar purple color, reflecting from the automatic opening glass door. Is that-? "Sportsy!" I hear coming from behind me. I didn't even have to turn around to know who that is. Dave Miller, The aubergine eggplant man. I finally turn myself around to face Dave. "What are you doing at a 7/11 store, Old sport?" My mind freezes and I feel fear run through my body.

But why exactly? Can't i just simply say i'm buying cigarettes from the convenient store? Am i scared he'll worry for me? Dave can be really overprotective at times with, and not only with me, but phone guy and even sometimes tries to comfort a parent who lost their child, even if Dave was the one who killed them. So If i tell him i smoke, he'll probably make a big fuss out of it. In other words, I have to lie to him. 

"I, uhm, Was buying your secret santa gift..?" We both pause for a second, but I start to continue. "Ugh, yep!  You got meee..."  I continue in an obvious lying tone. I can tell Dave knows i'm lying, but he tries to play along. "Oh, well then, We'll just have to get the gift TOGETHER. I'm sure it's ok to bend the rules a bit, RIGHT OLD SPORT?" He stares me dead in the eyes, looking through my souless body like glass. I thought I was the scary one towards Dave.

I go around the store, glancing at the aubergine once in a while to see if he's looking. I see Dave get distracted by kebab sticks. Now is my chance. I quietly dash away from Dave towards the cigarettes, I immediately grab a pack, not caring about the brand, I try to slip it into my pocket, but a voice alerts me. "Jack? What is that? Is that the gift you're getting?".

"Um, not exactly I-"

"Old sport, do you smoke?"

"Listen Dave-"

"Jack, you shouldn't smoke!"

"Dave."

"It's bad for you-"

"DAVE."

Dave shuts up finally. I begin to pinch my nose bridge and sigh, making Dave look at the ground with a look of sadness. Why, oh why, is he like this? "Yeah, I smoke so what? No need to have a tantrum over it." I can't begin to explain how pissed off I'm starting to become. "So, THIS, is why you lied?".

"Mhm."

"And you knew i'd worry?"

"Uh, yeah."

"And yet you still told me some shitty excuse?"

"..."

"Well then," Dave begins. "If we don't get the present," The aubergine rips the pack of cigarettes from my hand. "then you can't smoke." Dave smirks as he holds the cigarette pack in the air out of my reach. "Hey give that back, asshole!" I yell, I immediately flush a soft red, knowing there are other people in the store hearing this. "So what will it be, sportsy?". I groan, putting both of my hands on my eyes. "Fine, i'll get the damn gift, but you can't see it!". He nods, still smirking.

I quickly grab a box of the kebab sticks Dave was looking at and pay at the counter, I walk past Dave with a bag in one hand and the other signalling to come over to me. Dave grins and runs over to me. We both walk out the door, now in front of the 7/11.

"I know it's early but," I shove the bag into Dave's hands. "Merry fucking Christmas.."  I mumble. The aubergine takes one look in the bag and smiles back at me. "Aw, you shouldn't have, bae!" I begin to become red from the nickname and dash away, back to my house, screw work. I hear Dave yell "Cya soon, old sport!" before losing sight of both Dave and that goddamn 7/11.

Tomorrow is another day.

[A/N]

Thank you to the people who read this, followers, and discord friends! You've helped a lot in dark times! - Kaoru <3

 Word count: 923 words

 [A/N]