【~Ｒａｎｄｏｍ Ｄｓａｆ ｏｎｅｓｈｏｔｓ~ ||ＤＡＶＥＳＰＯＲＴ ＭＯＳＴＬＹ||】

Funni crack again lol

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A crack chapter better than the first no way!?!1? (pls end my bloodline)

This is a crack chapter about Jack ordering a pizza on the phone and Dave keeps annoying him.

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Jackie boiz POV

"Is hungry" David the eggplant says. "same?!?!?!?" I shout majestically. "go order pizza or i'll watch you sleep again tonight, baba grill." Davyy says while he begins to slowly stair (OMORI REFERENCE?!?!) into my soul even though i don't have one, but y'know, wattpad logic ig.

"ok." I pick up my nokia and dial 911. "911, what's your emergency?" The operator begins. "Pizza and i give epic vbucks" I say in my cool gamer voice. "yes", says the operator, "what topping hyuk hyuk". "EGGPLANT. I VOTE EGGPLANT." shouts Dave in the background.

"No, last time we ordered that you started to deep throat that shizz, gay fuck." Dave begins to sob intensely. Whatever. "Uh, meatball hamborg obama crusty flavor, pls", I begin, "and make it thin crust." 

Dave snaps his neck towards me while whispering, "You monster.."  under his breath. "ok, give vbucks" says the operator. "yes" I say, then i hang up. XxDavyy_boixX fortnite dances while I stare at a wall. Damn that's a fine looking wall. The door explodes and Steven walks in.

"U LATE 2 WORK, Y'ALL." Steven screams. "bitch shut yo bratty rat ass mother fucking mouth, you built like santa claus goin hohoho, you look like a cake a 2 year demolished on their birthday, ugly ass goofy ahh rotary phone, bet you fucked a nokia, yo granny smells better than you, i bet, built like Garfield after he ate 20 lasagnas." Dave shouts.

Steven screams before being thanos snapped. "that be hot XxDavyy_boixX" I blush while biting my bottom lip teehee. "That gay" says Dave. "You gay." I add on. *ding dong, bing bong* (DANGANRONPA REFERENCE?!?!?) "Ayo, the pizza here" I say before falling down a flight of magical stairs.

I manage to land on my feet in front of the door and open it ftfaoifggytassg "delivery pizza i mean pizza delivery" says a police officer. I take the pizza. "ok here vbucks". I slam the door and go to Dave. "pizza?!?!!?!?!?" He screams. I throw the pizza at his face landing perfectly on his square face. "yummy" says Eggplant.

"btw i <3 you cuz wattpad logic" i say. "UwU" Dave responds before simultaneously whipping and nae naeing. He's so hot and fruity, guysss omg1!1!!1!2!! Dave falls face flat on the ground and i slowly blackout, wait what? It goes dark just then.

...

I slowly wake up to the smell of pizza. I'm in the dining room, my back against the wall, my head throbbing painfully. What the fuck happened? Was that a dream? I stand up slowly, Dave is there too, he looks unconscious and next to him is a pizza pie, what a waste of money.

 Staring at the dining room table, memories flood back within seconds. White dust scattered across the table along with a empty bag. Goddamnit. The one day I get high at home this shit happens. 

I feel tired and dizzy, I make my way into the living room, flopping directly onto the couch. I slowly shut my eyes. Just a bit of sleep wouldn't hurt, right? The sounds of the TV nearby becomes muffled and my body goes limp. Has sleeping been this peaceful? Oh well, I really only know one thing right now.

Tomorrow is another day.

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Ok so context: Dave and Jack get high and what we saw before the '...' was the stuff Jack saw while being high af. Afterwards, he wakes up and just falls asleep on the couch cuz he was exhausted. Dave still remains on the ground lol. What really happened while they were high was first, Jack ordering a pizza from a pizza place, then Jack running up his staircase and jumping off it, hurting himself a bit. Then they got the pizza and Dave and Jack went into the dining room. They then make out cuz I said so. Then Jack throws the pie at Dave's face and pizza gets all over Dave. They then just pass out. I know this is a long and confusing explanation, i'm sorry.

Ok bye, i'll try to update and add more chapters soon, tysm for everyone's support!

- Kaoru <3

Word count: 719 

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