Evil in love

Chapter 25

Aloha! So, shits abouta go down. So be prepared my lovelies!!! But first I feel like writing some... Human stuff so enjooooyyy!! Also, comment ship names for Caius and Cecelia, I literally haven't put any thought into it throughout the whole time I've been creating this. Love ya'll ttyl lovelies xx -Tay

Jane didn't waste time or money when it came to booking accommodation. The room I'm staying I had a chandelier that is so bright and glimmering that the only other light needed in here is for the bathroom. The quarters is big enough for a mini kitchen (no use for that), an extravagant bathroom and flamboyant walk in wardrobe that is currently fitting Only seven things in there within the limitless amount to space it has, most items of small sizing. The bedroom is big enough to fit three king sized beds across the width of the room, although it doesn't. Overall it looks almost exactly the same as the place I've grown so accustomed to living in, Jane also made sure it was homey.

Now don't be shocked when I pull out my MacBook Pro, I am after all... eighteen? Right? I honestly don't know, it feels like you're timeless, ageless when you're in my position, you will never grow old. And with that realisation, it dawns on me for the first time ever- I'll never grow old. I've been devoting my life for the last year or two to being timeless. Not knowing how old I am- living for the moment. Almost two years that I've not tasted a burger, or drunk anything as simple as water. It's just been blood. Blood, blood, blood. Before any of this I was human- I had a curfew I would break nearly every night. I had a boyfriend who could actually breathe, I had family. I wonder what they think happened to me? I wonder how they are now. Why have I not thought of this since the start of this crazy mixed up supernatural bomb was dropped on me? I barely even remember what it felt like to have a fresh feeling in my mouth, something other than the taste of death- and now I think about of the deaths I've caused- all the pain I've put people through.

They've tried to put the thought in my head that I'm not human, they've tried to press that out of my head- turn me into a monster- I was so blindsided by whatever sort of love I felt for Caius, the power I felt I possessed. I gave up everything about myself for someone who threw me into a window ledge- I gave up my life for the monsters who govern a race. I'm no better than a monster- I've no soul. I could have had a prom, a graduation- I gave it all up.

I scowl at myself through the mirror, what a fake, what a little child who thought she was loved, thought she was important, I'm as weak as a human- I fucking hate it.

I drop the blood red lipstick that was about to get painted across my lips, lips that Caius always said were the lips to a new generation of vampires, lips to his heart. Fuck him, fuck all of them- Jane- my sister fuck her too! I was nothing but their puppet! I take one more look at the blood red that I'm wearing, the stick of blood red lipstick on the red cedar wood vanity table- in my head it all turns to blood. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. I'm covered in blood. I'm so fucking sick of blood.

My vision of blood becomes real as the mirror in front of me shatters, breaking apart the reflection of the monster. More blood drips down my fingers, nothing new to me- I've shed enough blood of others- I think a bit of mine should me shed as well. I take a shard of the mirror and strike it down across my forearm, digging it deeper- I need to make things right, even. As much of my blood should be shed as the victims of mine that I've shed of theirs.

I lie among the shattered remains of the vainglorious mirror. More glass cutting into my flesh. My vision begins to fade in and out of focus, blackening around the edges of my sight- God I'm sick of blood.