With Him Comes Completion

Chapter 7

Wednesday...

Checklist of things to do today...

Wake up with a smile only to loose it when I remember it's Wednesday...done

No watching romance movies...fine

Clean house...maybe

Stress some more about the up and coming dinner tonight...minute by minute

Wait for Simon to come home to tell him we are going out to the diner to eat with a new friend...dreading

~~~~

It was close to the time Simon was to be home, and I'm a stressed out hot mess. My hair is frizzy from me fingering it, pulling it up in a bun and then taking it back down. My arms are sticky with sweat from walking in circles all day. I even cleaned out my closet and mom's closet to look for the perfect top to wear with my jeans. Why is it suddenly so hard to get dressed? Why do I feel the need to impress this super macho alpha male?

Did I just think alpha? Top dog, soul mate?? Yikes!

"Ma, what is it about him that makes me want do something more than just sleep with him for one night with a quick thrill? I have yet to to tell him about all my anxiety, even though I really don't feel any anxiety around him. Please, help me not sound crazy! What do I say? I can't keep avoiding the questions about what I do."

I haven't had a job in awhile. My depression kept me down for months and it took awhile to get back up. After I was up, I was still unmotivated. I kept to myself and stuck close to the house, scared to fail in life again. I haven't left the house as it is in over a week, maybe it has been two week. I think I'm becoming an agoraphobic. Some times the front yard is too much to be in. Going to the supermarket has become problematic at times but I can power through during the morning hours when it's not too crowded. It helps that the aisles are narrow and not to open.

"That's up to you, honey. I sent him to ya, now you have to keep him. But, honesty is the best policy."

She says that like I'm going to lie to him. I hate liers. So not gonna happen. But how do you tell a guy that your almost nutty. Not a full blown nutjob just dropped into the blender and waiting for the moment the blades start to spin.

"I'm still trying to get over the fact that he wants to date me and has already suckered me into two more dates without issue. How does he do that anyways? Am I being easy without being sleazy? Ma, help me, please!" I plead shaking and sweating through my rant. And she just let's me work through it all in my head. I did see the therapist, she told me to enjoy it.

Enjoy pity dates? Is that what it is? Or is it just a distraction before for he finds Ms. Tall Blonde Barbie? Why do I keep questioning it? Why can't I stop the why's, where's, what for's, and the how come's?

Don't I take pills for these situations?

And there is the bus. The whirlwind is about to touch down, only second away and I have got to calm down. Taking in deep breaths I try to focus on being happy.

"Mom, I'm home. Guess what we did today? We had this guy come and showed us this mountain and this red stuff he called lava came out the top. He said it came from beneath us. Can you imagine mom we walk on hot stuff all the time. That's what the guy said at school."

"Wow, you are talking about volcanos in second grade? And it was that exciting?"

"Yeah, it was so cool. Can I go outside and play?"

"Yeah, can I get my afternoon hug before I perish away from the lack of love from my sweet baby boy?" Holding my arms out he gives me a brief squeeze. I had just enough time to take in the scent of sunshine and dirt that was clinging my son's hair. Ahh, now thats calming.

"Bye mom, I'm going to ride my bike." And he dashed out the house in a flash. To be that happy and care free. The joys of innocence! Can I go back to being child, just for a day?

"Don't go to far, because we are going out for dinner!" I yelled out the door smiling at his youthful energy.

"So, taking the kid with you tonight?" My mother asks.

"Yeah, he asked if he could take both of us out for the Wednesday Special at the diner. Do you think I shouldn't?"

"Stop second guessing yourself, you know what you need to do as a mother, always have." The smile and hug my mom gives me is lending me the courage to go on with tonight.

Derek

Could today get any worse?

"DEREK, MY OFFICE NOW!" Mr. Sleaze of Cabinets Inc aka Mr. Tony Reilly, calls out to me.

I knew I would get called into the office again, that job I did for the Sullivan's was done perfect but for one thing. I was not trying to charge them the amount set by the company for the work I did. It was already too high with the 1,500 that I did charge them. Why is it a standard amount of 2,000 when I'm not doing that much work on the cabinets. It wasn't like I did the whole kitchen just a corner shelf with a rolling drawer inside. The 1,500 paid for the materials and the work I did. The materials itself only cost about 150, the labor and the cut I get is 200 base pay for the first hour and 75 for every hour afterwards. Since I was only there two and half hours, that left the boss 1,000 bucks in his pocket.

I walked into the office and before I closed it he was yelling.

"Why did you underbid this work? You know this work is a standard $2,000 through the company. Why was is it they were only billed for $1,500? You trying to rob me Derek? Cuz if your taking your fucking cut off the top, your fired. You know what? Your fired anyways. You lost me $2,000 in the past 6 months and you ain't going to take no more from me. Get Out!"

Wow, that was quick. Good. Maybe it will just be lean for a few months but I can build my business up.

As I was walking out I took my bids for the last month to go back over and maybe I can bid against Mr. Tony. Build up my company with these few clients here that need minor work and only called Tony because he is the only handyman in town. With a few good jobs, I could probably take over the handyman business. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it asshole!