Everyone is in shock
"But due to the global votings Miss Chwe will still be debutting"
Eun seo looked annoyed about this
The trainees beside me start chatting
"I'm sorry sir, but why?" I speak up
"I'm truly truly sorry" one of the chairmens start
"We'll have to edit you out for the sake of our company's image"
He turns on the television behind us
BREAKING NEWS: Famous Hybe Kpop Producer T-BOY and JZ9T is arrested today for substance abuse and suicide. Locals say that Mr. JZ9T jumped off of a 15 story building at 3am last night.
On the other hand, 18 year old T-BOY found using ilegal substances found by the police this morning.
Locals are concerned over whether this is in coincidence of Hybe Entertainment's treatment and monitoring of the idols; and as Hybe's stock drop by 30-
Then he suddenly shuts down the TV.
"The public is angry and they want answers; we had no intention of this happening, we swear we know nothing about it"
Man pauses for a sec to take off his glasses and started rubbing his nose bridge
"better to debut a girl group with better marketing for the reputation of this company"
He puts his hand on his forehead
I could tell that he was stressed,, I felt stressed too
even so, I still really wanted to debut
maybe a little selfish of me
have some compassion duk seon-ah! The company's future is on the line!
what is with all the timing of all this though... for real...
All i could think about was for my achievement of almost debuting, for this chance to be taken away from me for the sake of "marketing"
am i not good enough,,, even for marketing?
what the actual fuck
after really debutting, all the real anxiety and work poured into this show
are they seriously just un-debutting me
how unfortunate
"We really need to do this"
"this girl group is also supposed to be a "sister" subunit group beside ENHYPEN,, so this has to be the perfect comeback from hybe"
basically implying that im not perfect,
...
kinda hurts tho
"Fans from 2020 were mad about K's situation where he also didn't debut" one of the directors argued
"yeah but they still ended up accepting sunoo and liking him"
"this is not the most stable decision we can make, but our actions have to be ... more towards what the audiences want" Director Bang si Hyuk sighs
I was speechless, kinda thoughtless, kinda like I was still trying to process what just happened in the past 30 minutes after they called off the broadcast.
"this is so unfair tho" shouted Eunseo unnie breaking the silence
"we know, we're really sorry about this convinience to everyone"
The room environment was now filled with mixed emotions
I nodded, swallowing a scream
...
"So... let's start air-ing again in 20 minutes?"
I wanted to cry but crying wouldn't help anything right now
i wanted to scream all this anxiety ive been holding up for the last 3 months
I wanted to resent the hybe board chairmens so bad
"yeah"
"START THE BROADCAST"
Makeup artists come to fix my makeup so my face doesn't look all swollen and red like i just barfed out my guts
And the show continued on
just like that
I guess afterall, I was still only 13
...
*****
After a while, Rok Hee unnie got to debut as the most suitable person with the cleanest and best reputation along with visuals. She was happy and sad at the same time. I was also happy for her that she got to at least debut too.
Rok hee unnie had really great and strong vocals, she has been training the longest here plus she was frankly speaking ranked 2nd to global votings as well. I was sure that if anyone else is perfect for the job, it was definitely her.
It was definitely her
...
It could've been me too
Rok hee's banner falls on the screen where mine once was
[ I-LANDER Lee Rok hee ]
Rok hee came to send her regards with a huge smile on her face
"Thank you so much, I promise I won't let you down!" she bows
2nd place - Lee Rok hee (19)
Korea/America
May 7, 2002
Training Period: 5 years
We all clapped and came over to hug her
The other rankings were later also shown:
(Able to debut)
4th - Lim Duk seon
5th - Kim Mi rae
6th - Yuzuru Misaki
____
(Remaining Contestants)
7th - Emma Chou
8th - Bae Eunbi
9th - Kim Sehee
We sent our regards as Eunseo and Rok hee were escorted away to purse their dreams, and send last minute messages to international fans. That was the last time i ever saw Rok hee and Eunseo unnie.
The show ended
3 months here,
for nothing
As soon as the broadcast ended, I ran straight to the washroom
To throw up
On my birthday too.
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