Woot Woot

Myrtle the Turtle

The fence rattled as the rambunctious animals went insane. Kind of like a llama eating cream cheese on Halloween.

Myrtle the turtle had enough of these shenanigans and got to her feet. "These badgers up in here are so impatient" she sighed.

It was time for the badger's daily water polo lessons. Releasing the latch on the gate, Myrtle swung the gate door open with a loud 'CHICKA BOW WOW'. All 58 badgers ran out of their confined space in a hurry.

This one badger, known as Jeremy, looked back at Myrtle and screamed, "VIVE LA FRANCE".

Confused, Myrtle saluted Jeremy and watched as everyone dove into the shallow pond.

Swimming with grace and speed, Jeremy caught Myrtle's attention. She looked to her right at her best friend, Wolfgang the shrub, and exclaimed," 'Das one sexy man! I'm gonna try to impress him."

Wolfgang the shrub stared back at her with a look of agreement. Myrtle nodded at Wolfgang and wiggled over to the edge of the pond. She whipped out a pink ballerina tu-tu from her backpack and set her pack along the edge. "Don't mind me, just your average turtle in a tu-tu!" Myrtle shouted to the badgers.

They all ignored her.

With a loud sigh she jumped into the pond and swam over to Jeremy. Myrtle looked to Wolfgang for reassurance, who winked at her encouragingly. She gulped and tapped on Jeremy's back as he surfaced the water. He came up from under the water like a fabulous whale and looked at her expectantly, one eyebrow raised. "Yeeeeesss?" he asked.

"Uh, uh, uh, nothing. I just wanna show you my joints." she whispered, displaying all her wonderful joints.

Myrtle twirled in a circle, "Don't you just love them?"

Jeremy looked her over curiously. He whipped out a balloon, took the time to inflate it, and let it go into the air all while staring at Myrtle. Myrtle gave Jeremy a confused look and giggled awkwardly.

"Why was he doing that?", Myrtle wondered. Jeremy continued to blow up balloon after balloon and released every single one. This calms him. He used to do this when his friends would play Usher songs around him. Usher makes Jeremy angry.

Finally, after 20 minutes of blowing up balloons and staring at Myrtle, he said, "Well, bye." and swam to shore.

Myrtle was left with her jaw hanging open in shock. Jeremy just left her. He just swam away like she was nothing.

Myrtle contemplated this for a while, floating on her back. In the end, she decided to somehow make him into a fairy goblin for revenge. She swam back to shore, and told Wolfgang about her plan to see what he thought of it. At first, he was a little skeptic but in the end he thought it was brilliant.

Myrtle changed into her witch's robes behind a conveniently placed elephant.

Jeremy will never see this coming.